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Blame Game

Question: What's wrong with knowing that someone or something outside of me is responsible for making me feel unhappy?

Answer: Everything. There is no profit in blaming your painful position in life on other people or an uncaring world. This is the solution the false self wants you to swallow, because it knows that if it can get you to see life its way, then you will have no choice but to spend the rest of your life struggling with life. This is its conquest. First it blows you off course and then it gets you to blame ill winds. Its very existence depends on keeping you off balance and looking in the wrong direction.

Start seeing through the blame game by learning to let go of all the familiar but self-abandoning answers the false self wants you to believe in. Own your own life.

Question: Over and over I fall into the trap of wanting to lash out and blame other people for what seem to me to be injustices in their actions. How can I learn to suppress that immediate reaction to point the finger at someone else?

Answer: Negative emotions cannot exist without having something to blame for their punishing presence. Voluntarily isolating yourself along with your irritated thoughts and feelings doesn't mean cutting them off; nor does it mean that you should pretend that you're not on fire. Suppression of these dark inner states is just the opposite of angrily expressing them, and every bit as harmful.

Don't express - or suppress - any negative state. Besides, either one of these opposite approaches always produces the same results; nothing changes except for what's being blamed. Choosing to not blame lifts you above both of these losing choices.

Your conscious non-action turns you into the objective witness of your own superheated emotions. And from the safety of this higher awareness you see about yourself what you couldn't see before because of all the inner fire and smoke. Your discoveries empower you to cancel the real cause of your inner combustibility. Not only is your self-command restored, but it's heightened. Be sure to practice the pause that spiritually strengthens you. Refuse to blame.

Excerpted from Design Your Destiny

Question: After certain negative events take place, I think I'll regain my peace of mind if I just "get even." How do I free myself from being overcome by such troubling thoughts?

Answer: Thoughts of revenge promise to relieve the mind they occupy of the very pressure these same thoughts produce. All acts of revenge are not only useless, but destroy the one who acts from them. These are not just words. If you will refuse to give dark thoughts and feelings your life for a long enough period, they will reveal themselves to you as being the secret destroyers they are. I promise you that such negativities have no life outside of the one that they steal from you when you act from them. Work at this until you see the fact of these dark forces. They don't bring the freedom from the pain they promise, but only compound your inner conflict.

Excerpted from Seeker's Guide to Self-Freedom

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