Part 1
Being responsible for our negative reactions begins with becoming aware of them. For instance, until we can observe and learn what it means to be consciously passive to our own negative reactions then what else can we do but go on identifying with them and embracing, by default, the false perception that someone or something else is responsible for our pain.
Part 2
Just as blowing on a spark helps ignite it, along with the materials that surround it, so does naming any psychological pain enflame it until -- as is intended by the lower level of self that loves any super heated feeling -- all that's left is the ashes of our own higher spiritual possibilities.