Before we can learn how to step outside the pattern set into motion by some habitual negative reaction toward others, we need a better understanding of the underlying forces that create it. In other words, we must find a way to look at these same moments through a "new set of eyes."

As a race of beings, we have become completely complicit in the pain that visits us. A thought from the past pops up and punishes us. Someone says something we don't like, and we try to punish them and feel the pain of the blame that we place on them. There is an endless series of relationships with a part of our own nature that has convinced us that the pain is produced by a condition outside of us...

Every day we are attacked by a multitude of pains, so frequent and so familiar we don't even question them. In fact, we accept them as friends, as something to occupy us. These pains can range from petty irritations to the anxiety we feel every time we write a check and see our bank balance decrease, to concerns about our health. One of the major sources of pain involves other people and our relationships with them.

Have you ever noticed that you get rid of one person in your life, and you get somebody just like it? But you didn't get somebody just like it. You got you again! That's the lesson, isn't it? You should be so tired of pointing your finger at other people...

One of the reasons that you live with the pain that you do is because you don't understand that you don't have to. And the only way you're ever going to shake off that pain -- get off "the pain train" - is if you start to get fighting mad about what is making you the kind of human being that you are. I don't know if you can see it. I hope that you can. As a race of beings, we have become...

Why do we end up as often as we do in those painful situations in which the last words usually spoken go something like, "How in the world did I get myself into this mess?" Sound familiar? It should. And while the answer to this woeful question should rescue us from similar future sticky situations, it rarely works out that way. This is very important to admit to ourselves..."

The more we intend to uncover the parts of us complicit in creating self-defeating patterns such as addictive behaviors and codependent relationships -- and how we're always dragged down by this unconscious proclivity -- the more liberating discoveries we will make. It's a law: Ask to see the truth (of yourself) -- then do what you must to be granted that revelation...

Make an aim for yourself... give yourself a task that you know you must attend to, whatever its nature. Just pick ONE... and keep it before you, at all times. Intend to attend to this aim above and beyond all other things.

The reason that the "truth sets us free" isn't so much because of something that we're able to do with it, but rather through the always shocking discovery that, as we are at present, there is very little we can do that is real.

You are able to get past any fear when you understand that the only thing keeping you involved with the state is you.

The reason perfect love casts out fear is because any unwanted condition willingly embraced loses its power over us.

As we realize that there is no way that painful concern can positively affect any outcome, we drop that concern, and bit by bit, we begin to hear what real life has been trying to tell us all along.