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Love is Letting Go and Giving Others Room to Grow

Key Lesson: One virtually unknown aspect of love -- and, in a way, one that is most vital to your inner growth -- is found not in correcting the path of others, but rather in allowing them the un-invaded inner space they must have in order to fully experience the consequences of their own choices.

Raise Your Relationships to a New Level

Have you ever been so upset, so disturbed by someone, that if you didn't lash out at them, you were sure the whole world would come crashing down on you? When you're upset, your attention is instantly glued onto the source of your irritation, and you have no consciousness of yourself at all. You are completely outwardly oriented in order to justify your inward agitation.

At the moment you see another person as being responsible for this irritation, what you are actually seeing is your experience of the moment. So really what you're experiencing isn't the person, but the content of your own past experience within its narrow confines.

This is the moment where it becomes possible to access Truth (Love) so that it can raise you to a whole new level in your relationships. Instead of lashing out, come aware of your own reaction, and as best you know how, simultaneously drop the reaction by reversing your attention in the moment that you're upset.

Reversing your attention means that instead of placing all of your consideration on the person outside of you, you turn your attention around and place your awareness entirely on yourself. Stand fast in the light of what you see about yourself before you turn the spotlight on another person. Before you talk about the mote in that person's eye, take the beam out of your own.

An apt spiritual metaphor for this exercise can be found in the movie "Zorro," where there is a swordsman's circle that Zorro instructs his disciple about in this way: "Stay in your circle. Don't go outside the circle for any reason whatsoever, because if you'll stay in your circle, what you need will come to you. Then, because you have remained in your circle, you will be able to deal with it on your terms."

Not going outside your circle means staying in the space of your own life. Leave the other person's space alone; it's not your business. They can't learn the lesson their space (and the Truth that's there) provides them if you are in their circle, pushing on it. Stay in the circle, don't go out, and you'll see that miraculous things happen. If you would learn to serve Truth first before you try to straighten out each other, then Truth tells you everything, because you've placed yourself where it's possible for Truth to make the connection with you. This raises you instantaneously to a new level, to the Truth that always has been waiting for you inside of your experiences with others.

For a deeper understanding of this topic we recommend The Essential Laws of Fearless Living.

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