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5 Ways to Smash Through the Invisible Barriers Keeping You From Making Real and Lasting Changes in Yourself

Key Lesson: When it comes to our wish to make real changes in ourselves, good intentions cost (us) nothing... and that's why the road to hell is paved with useless coins. On the other hand, making a conscious effort to change -- in the moment that calls for it -- comes with the cost of seeing ourselves as we really are; this awareness shows us not only the possibility of being released from our worry and fear, but also the unconscious parts of us that don't want us to be free. Enduring the totality of this revelation is the price of awakening, and (this) awakening is the herald of true self-transformation.

Only What is Real Can Change

Question: Making a resolution to change comes easy, but the will necessary to keep the intention soon fizzles. At other times, when life gives me a good blow, change is no longer optional, and resolve becomes quite effortless. How can I muster myself to keep my good intentions for a more healthy and balanced life when it's so easy to fall back into "cruise control" mode?

Answer: No one wants to struggle... when they don't have to; only when the "currents" of life rise up and threaten to wash away what we are identified with do we pick ourselves up and work to preserve what we fear might be lost.

Such struggles serve nothing other than the world they appear out of and disappear back into once some kind of personal "harmony" is restored. Of course, the problem is that this "balance" is as precarious as the changing of the seasons called our preferences. But, passing time ensures the re-emergence of negative states as unwanted events roll through and by, and the whole pattern simply repeats itself until the body is worn out and passes away... having served nothing but its own conditioned interests.

One must learn to struggle with him- or her-"self" -- all the time -- because without awareness of the way one meets his or her life, of what meets life for one when one is just "gliding" along... then, in truth, what is it that meets life? The answer is... no one: just a host of habitual thoughts and feelings, prejudicial ideas and beliefs, mechanical reactions. If we are not aware of ourselves -- right now, and in all possible subsequent moments -- then even though we "live"... we are not really alive. And, for the record, the presence of strong emotional states, positive or negative, does not mean we truly live any more than an iPod has individual intelligence just because it can sort through a playlist on its own.

Make an aim for yourself... give yourself a task that you know you must attend to, whatever its nature. Perhaps you never stop to consider the needs of others, maybe you're a "rush-aholic," or continually feed yourself "pleasure foods," or eat when not hungry, or enable your own bad habits by submitting to them against your own best interests. Just pick ONE... and keep it before you, at all times. Intend to attend to this aim above and beyond all other things. This wish and willingness to struggle with your own runaway parts will produce a new awareness of what is real, true, and valuable for you.

Don't judge, or allow yourself to fall into condemning yourself for failing to remember your wish, or for being too weak to carry out the aim. These initial resulting states are natural and necessary, a part of producing the new energy you will need to increasingly succeed with your inner wish to be free.

Work! Your agreement to struggle with yourself will reveal what is Real in you and what is not. Only what is Real can change...

This article is an excerpt from, Life of Learning's Online Wisdom Center directed by Guy Finley.

This article is excerpted from Design Your Destiny.

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