Giving Yourself (and Others) Room to Grow
Giving Yourself (and Others) Room to Grow
  • Posted: November 14, 2004
  • 488 words
Key Lesson

Part I:

Whenever we ask another to help us with a challenge that we must face -- before we've done all we can on our own -- we rob ourselves of realizing this priceless understanding: The higher powers we need to transcend our troubles are given to us, but only as we awaken to our need for them, and stand willing to receive them not in glory, but in humility.

Part II:

Only when great problems can be seen as great possibilities is the pain in them perfected.


There is one essential ingredient missing in most of our relationships -- one that is definitely required if we wish to continue in our own development and help others to do the same. What is this powerful catalyst that only we can provide for each other? Room in which to grow.

We can help others reach higher by simply agreeing, consciously, to give them space to go through their changes even when these changes may challenge our sense of self and its well-being. As just one simple example of how to help in this way, we must each learn to keep ourselves quiet when the actions of someone close to us start to disturb us. Why is this new kind of self-silence so important for the growth of both parties involved?

To begin with, the disturbance that we feel in these moments is caused by a tremor in us. This is to say that our shaky sense of self is an effect of some picture we have held of this person as it hits the ground and shatters. Apart from our children, whom we must guide through their developing years, we need to learn to leave people alone with their decisions and corresponding actions. There is already a truth, a wisdom that supports this conscious course of action.

We already understand that no action of ours ever goes without its commensurate reward. This eternal principle is best known as karma, the great, inescapable law of cause and effect. This means it is our own nature -- as the backstage parent of what prods us along in life -- that determines what we experience as our life. So too is it with our family and friends

Excerpted From: Seeker's Guide to Self-Freedom: Truths for Living, pages 167-169.

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