GF: Welcome to our chat tonight, and Happy New Year to the Friends of Truth. Yes, the promise of another New Year is here, and this hopeful idea brings us right to these questions: What must one do if one truly intends to make a new beginning? What is our part in fulfilling this promise of Newness latent but hidden in ourselves?

We ask these questions in the spirit of the Newness that we hope for because life has shown us, again and again, that we know not their true answers. So tonight our task is to explore these important questions.

We begin with a short story. It illustrates two spiritual principles we will need to understand with regards to our wish to realize the Ever New Life. Picture in your mind a large mining operation, and just outside the opening to the mine, lined up for quite a ways in front of the paymaster's table, are a number of people waiting in line to collect their bi-monthly paychecks.

Somewhere in the middle of this line stands a man dreaming of the dollars about to come into his hands. As he waits, he envisions all the things he will be able to buy with this money, and the imagined treasures and pleasures soon to be his make waiting in line almost too much to bear. At last his turn arrives. He steps up and holds out his hand. But what's this?

As he extends his hand for the check he believes due to him, the paymaster checks his log, looks up at him, smiles, and says softly so as not to offend: "Excuse me sir, perhaps you have forgotten. This line is only for people who have worked these last two weeks, which you did not. Surely you don't expect to be paid for something you haven't done, do you?"

In case the lesson in this short story has missed the mark, let me draw it out for you: We all tell ourselves that we want a new life; we spend hours dreaming of the day when we are freed from self-limitations or otherwise self-compromising behaviors. In our minds we see ourselves walking away from destructive relationships with others, or from habitual negative thoughts and feelings. And this is the problem. We talk to ourselves about the "fresh start"; we plan the path to be taken when things are right; we conspire with others and encourage one another to begin again, to just let go of what "was". . . but that's it. We talk but don't walk! We plan but don't act. We dream but never awaken to the fact that the New Beginning we long for is Now or never. There is no such thing as "tomorrow" for anyone who really has it in his or her heart to start over with life. I am not asking you to agree or disagree with this spiritual truth; my only wish is for you to see the fact of it, and perhaps this next insight will add just the light needed to make this realization.

The only place where we can hope to make a genuine fresh start in life must be made in that one "place" where life itself is New all the "time." But before we discuss "where" this fountain of Fresh Starts is found, we must grasp a critical idea, as challenging as it may be. Your willingness to closely consider the following truth is vital to fulfilling your wish for a New Life.

The true place of all new beginnings, the only one where it is possible for us to begin our life over anew is, in reality, neither a "place" nor a "time." As confusing as this sounds at first, personal experience confirms it: as we are now, we search through people and places for a new start, but we are always returned to an incomplete end, having to set out again.

The truth is that this "place" or "time" we are looking for -- in which to make our new beginning -- cannot be found in space and time. What is New is not physical, temporal, or otherwise conditional at all. Such longed-after places are illusionary creations of one's own earth-bound desires trying to douse their own fires. And this is just the point: These longings for a fresh start drive us, but cannot deliver us to where a New Life begins. With this fact in mind, let me anticipate your question which I will answer as best it can be explained: The truly New Life -- through which we are empowered to begin our life all over -- is a Spirit. It is a living and eternal Light unfolding unendingly within each of us.

For the time being we will refer to this never-ending, always-beginning state of our own Higher but hidden Self with a word familiar to all of us: this "place and time" of spiritual Newness within us is what is commonly referred to as being -- "Now" --.

Let me help you realize what is being revealed, as just a little effort on our part will go a long way to prove the point being made: The only "time" one can truly start his or her life all over must be from within a life that is no longer bound up in "time." A quick example will get us past this sometimes confusing idea about being a captive of "time."

If one tries to make a new beginning, motivated by an attempt to no longer be where (or what) he or she once was, this person does start out, but not from what is New. On the contrary, this person begins his search, and then reaches his conclusions as to what he must come to possess to affect this newness, from within the confines of what has been his own past experience.

In other words, he sets out to start a new life for himself from a place within himself already known and rejected! Can you now begin to see the implications of making such a mistake (as it concerns knowing the correct "starting" place for making a new beginning)? A few more insights and the higher understanding needed to succeed will be ours.

Under such conditions as these, this person described cannot start anything over except the very life he hopes to escape! He begins his journey in the wrong place because he has yet to realize that the content of his "new" future to come, however sweetly dreamed, is secretly an unconscious extension of his own unwanted past.

Unseen, but nevertheless active in his psychology, this man carries within him a virtual string of "nots" by which he binds himself to his old life! And if he would be free to start life over, he must (as must we) understand this spiritual truth: what we resist, persists -- and this includes our own past!

No one can come upon what is truly New while walking the path of resistance to anything. Which means that the New Life we seek cannot be born through a blind rejection of who we have been. If we can see the truth in this, then we know we must not only discover the root of this resistant self in us, but we must do the work of learning how to "pull" this earth-bound nature out of us.

Before the end of tonight's chat, I will offer some additional special insight into what is required of us if we would make a fresh new start of our lives.

What would you like to talk about tonight? Let's see what we can learn together.

BobMac: I wish I could change, and help my children to live the right way in this new year. How do I make this desire enduring?

GF: Intend it to be just that. Accept nothing less. Make no excuses for yourself and blame no one for any negative states that compromise you. Do these things, and your wish to change will grow into the fact of it.

Randy: In your opinion, how useless are resolutions commonly made at this time of year? Are we simply weighing our "selves" down with meaningless thoughts of acquisitions, or is it just a game we humans play?

GF: Virtually all resolutions are meaningless for the simple reason that no intention of ours is any better (or stronger) than our ability to remember it. And as we are rarely the same person (inwardly) from moment to moment, we can hardly remember our wish, let alone find the will to enact it.

Benny: Can you elaborate a bit more on the idea of this "fire" that some of us are missing? The only spiritual fire I know is when I detect something is wrong with my life, and I have to go fix it. Even then it's a struggle to break out of my rut. Is there a spiritual fire we can cultivate that will empower our actions where "motivation" fails?

GF: Yes, there is in all of us a spiritual fire that can be awakened and nourished with proper inner work and the grace of God. The fire you speak of concerning "fixing" things is not the fire I speak of, but a lower version of it called personal desire. The real spiritual fire is not personal in nature and requires only a person's willingness to become conscious of its presence for it to fulfill its higher purpose in that same person.

MobilMan: Sometimes I find that I am unable to find this great peace where nothing bothers me at all. I have found (for myself) that I am able to stay there for periods of hours and then I always end up back in my "normal state." Is this peace that I find from time to time something that can be found and stayed in?

GF: In the long run, all such questions concerning a "greater peace" that comes upon us can only be answered by the Life that grants us this grace. Having said that, the physical body itself has to be "prepared" to be able to sustain these higher energies that constitute the wholeness we experience in ourselves and that we call peace. Keep working. Your task is to request this Light. It's responsibility is the rest.

mobilman: Our peace is not our own… it is given to us by the Giver or Prince of Peace?

GF: Yes, it is so.

alex: I have experienced love towards the opposite sex where my attention is continually on them whether they are present or not. Wouldn't I possess the capacity to experience God in the same way? I find the same resonance doesn't vibrate inside me. It doesn't happen as easily and is not as identifiable or prevalent as it is in external relationships.

GF: First, the answer is yes, one can and is created to be drawn to the life of God in very much the same way as one's inability to stop thinking about someone they love. This celestial love affair requires development on our part, within us, in order that the Light that is the expression of this love "feels" that we more and more have made room for it in our heart. This is a part of each one's work, to not only invite this higher Love, but to prepare a place for its dwelling within one.

ADB: I recently went through a period of serious and unrelenting grief/sadness after realizing the utter emptiness of being attached to activities that I've been heavily identified with for many years (like food/non-needful eating). I'm seeing how this dark nature rules other parts (most) of my life as well and this is rather disconcerting. Is part of this that "dark night of the soul" you sometimes refer to? Is this a good or necessary thing to be occurring in me?

GF: This is not the true dark night of the soul, but it is a certain dark night that one goes through as he awakens to the presently unconscious but active content of his soul. Don't fear this. Don't dwell on it. See it and step past it. What you are going through is natural and necessary for the further development of the Light within you.

ADB: Is there any way (I find it hard to believe I'm saying this) that I can "bring it on" so as to facilitate what I'm going through? Or do I just let it all flow (like I have a choice)?

GF: Our willingness to put Truth first sets into motion everything that we can “do” to help God help us go through what we must.

jilly: When there is no observer translating the past, do those thoughts and feelings still pass through you? And if the observer is not translating the past, is this the higher life?

GF: These thoughts and feelings exist independent of the observer in that they are entities having become somewhat self-conscious through a person's unconscious life. They fade, and with them their influence, as one continues in his effort to stay awake. The higher life, a life in the Light, may be said to appear in proportion to the disappearance of one's identification with said thoughts and feelings.

KautiousKat: After a night of drinking during a new year celebration party, I became extremely negative and felt like almost everything in my life was hopeless. Even my loved ones and my progress in this work seemed meaningless to my life and what I am here for. I know this was bad (and I rarely drink). Please tell me what happened or why I saw nothing in the important things in my life… I have never really experienced such powerful negativity before.

GF: Any time that any of us consent to a deliberate contamination of ourselves, either through substance, or the presence of toxic people, we literally "open" ourselves to the onset of certain negative forces that are never further away than the tip of our nose, spiritually speaking. Drop this now. It is negativity itself that wants you to carry this over. Let it shock you, but shock you awake.

jilly: Why do we think it helps us to "feel bad" in weak moments?

GF: Feeling bad about ourselves is secret egotism that merely is an opposite to the condition that we tell ourselves we feel bad about. Simply put, such negative self-interest supplies us with what seems to be a positive sense of ourselves.

jilly: As we begin to learn about these principles and understand their importance in our lives, why do we want to keep dreaming? Lack of understanding?

GF: Yes, lack of understanding, but specifically it is the failure to understand that within us dwells a lower nature whose only reality is a construct of its own dreams. It is not "I" that dreams, but this nature whose experience of the past must replay itself to create its own present moment.

Clem: When doing something that I'm interested in, I don't get tired. I don't even like to stop to eat, despite being hungry. I wish I was as passionate about facing fears, self-denial, and submission to Truth. How can I become more fascinated with the Light?

GF: Good question. It could be said that this happens in two ways. First, the Light itself stirs in a man and he is drawn like a moth to a flame. Second, and more common, a man awakens to find himself in a blackness he always attributed to the world, but realizes its his own darkness. Then, if he won't fall into that darkness, the light that showed him himself calls him home.

ADB: Are the divorce rates so high because none of us know what true love is? I sense that the feelings I had for my wife at the beginning of our relationship are not the true feelings that a relationship should be started out on. This seems clearer, especially after reading some of your and Mr. Howard's writings. Comments please?

GF: First, divorce rates are so high because people are so afraid that they cling to one another under any pretense at the drop of a hat. When the sensation of fear passes, or the thrill of the intimate affair finally fades, these people are left wondering how they got into what they did. Obviously, while we call some of this activity love, it is not. Awakened love in a human being is the gift of that person having understood in himself all that is not love. This knowledge of himself is the knowledge of all others around him. From this understanding comes humility, from humility compassion, and in compassion, the birth of love.

BARRY: From the past I have gotten the impression from you that all anger 100% of the time is useless to identify with. Wouldn't the middle way be a better approach?

GF: Is a little fire better to hold in your hand than a big fire?

BARRY: If all anger is useless to identify with, what was the purpose of the story where Jesus got angry and overturned the tables in the church?

GF: The historical story of Christ in the temple is not the interior meaning at all of what is an actual inner life experience that each along the Path must go through. A sleeping man cannot comprehend what a conscious man does, especially "how" he does it for the purposes that serve that man's need.

BARRY: Should one never take action based on fear? Wouldn't that action always be based on shaky ground?

GF: Better to be conscious and awake on "shaky ground" than to be asleep and fearful on dark ground created by resistance to one's fear. The man awake to the ground he traverses, eventually passes over that ground. The man in dreamland remains the fearful dreamer.

BARRY: Would you have any other advice to give me about being in fear of others' judgments other than not to identify with the emotional challenge of this? For example, I am going bald and so I wear a hat and avoid dinners where I might have to take my hat off.

GF: The more we can understand our fears, their true basis in us, the more fearless we act in their face. It is not what others think of you that frightens you. It is always your own thoughts that are the source of his terror and torment. See this truth as deeply as you can, and then watch how you begin to walk into life with a new courage.

SHADY: If what we resist persists, then are we creating the monster"? If we don't resist what we know is fear (or bad, or whatever you want to call it), then what do we do?

GF: We have within us a nature that is perfectly empowered to “see” the truth of things. All psychological fears are self-produced, and as such, false in reality. When the false is seen as being that, what is there to “do?”

looneykin: Whenever I try some endeavor in my life, I find myself many times failing in the things I try to accomplish. Is this a pursuit of the "me" mind, or a question of something having gone wrong? What do I do about?

GF: All depends upon what it is one attempts to do, particularly given that the whole idea of being a failure at something is always proportionate to the idea one had of the sense of self they would derive from being a "success." Things that we strive for that have our sense of self vested in them are doomed to fail at the moment we set out for them. Try to see this truth.

looneykin: How does one succeed?

GF: To learn the real nature of success in this life, one must first awaken to understand the purpose of this life. Once this is known, success follows naturally, as fruits do their flowers.

SHADY: How do we get that earthly bound nature all the way out of us when there are all the practicalities to deal with?

GF: There is no contradiction whatsoever between what we need to do as beings on this earth and what is asked of us to awaken to real life. One must learn to discern the difference between what is needful versus desire-borne. What is needful is always simple. All things desire-borne are as complex as the conflict they produce.

anne: I am working on finding my true self. Judging others is my huge button -- all the time I have a comment on their looks, job, what they think, how they feel, etc. I am aware of it though, and I stop the thought. It is constant. What does this mean?

GF: To one degree or another, all still-sleeping human beings mechanically judge one another for the instantaneous sense of self-superiority that such reactions produce. You must grow weary of letting yourself be defined by negative distinctions set up between yourself and others. Catch this more and more in yourself, and "taste" how badly it does taste to you. Soon you won't want this kind of food anymore.

Rael: It's been three years since I discovered your website (work), ten since I redoubled my examination of the inner life, and thirty since I initially experienced the pearl of great price and gave away all my physical possessions and set out to lose the mental. Yet I am as wretched today as ever. Is it possible that some people are "missing" some vital element for knowing the Truth?

GF: There is a flower that I know of that blooms somewhere in some deep remote desert, once only every twenty years. The conditions have to be right for this to occur. God never calls a man to him and then locks the door when the man knocks. Like the seed in the desert, stay at this door within yourself and knock, knock, knock, knock. Come visit here to the Foundation when you can.

ADB: I know I need to be a good householder for my family, but I still would like a down-to-earth (for my sake) answer on how to continue with the Inner Work and yet build a business as an income source. I provide for my family now, but would like to have a home business so that I am home more, yet this business stuff all seems based so antithetical to the Real Inner Work. Help/insights please?

GF: Forgive me for saying so (or not), but what you have said is just an excuse. We each do, in each moment, what we value. There is no exception to this truth. Why can't a man be at work and remember his God when he's writing his report? Why can't a woman be preparing a meal and giving thanks to God for her life while she cooks? We do what we love. So, we must change what we love. Then our life changes, and not before.

KautiousKat: Could you please recommend some good writings/teachings on internal energy? I live in a remote place where nobody offers such experience, and the internet is filled with opinionated garbage on the matter. I have had this interest for years and now realize I should take it more seriously in order to understand more about our worlds. I need guidance.

GF: Start with the audio album "Secrets of Cleansing the Heart Mind and Soul." It's right on this website, and as always, if you don't find it sheds welcome light into your life and on your search, you may return it for a full refund.

Diojeneez: Socrates said the wise man knows that he knows nothing. If that's true, then are all esoteric truths entirely based on faith?

GF: No, that's not true. What Socrates means is that the wise man knows that the wisdom that runs through his veins belongs not to him, and therefore cannot be called something of his.

jilly: Is seeing what's going on inside of you and outside of you (in the physical world) the present moment? If it is, is this where real change occurs?

GF: Yes, that's actually it. The simultaneous and whole awareness of self, as best one can be awake to the whole of oneself, is what places the content of ourselves within the light of ourselves. It is this Light that changes us.

James1: When I bring myself to the present moment, the experience is so brief. I slip off into conversations, daydreams, etc., and by the time I realize it, so much time has passed. This occurs the more often I try to study. The course I'm taking is very difficult and long. It's difficult to complete a thought. Help. I've been like this since adolescence.

GF: There are certain exercises that one can do if one is serious in wishing to develop their attention. One such exercise is in my book, The Lost Secrets of Prayer, and it has to do with a person doing the interior work with all three of his or her centers. The loss of attention is always by one center being dominated by another, or the onset of a desire in one or the other. Read the section on conscious prayer. It should help you.

Jamesone: Could you please explain the three centers you just referred to?

GF: In this instance I was referring (only) to emotional, intellectual, and an aspect where one’s will manifests (itself).

akaia: I find that I can and do feel a Grace sometimes, but I am mostly in despair. I find our human condition and what we do to each other so disheartening, I can hardly stand being here. I also pick up on other people's energy. This is usually their pain, and it is so overwhelming. Any suggestions on a way to feel alive again?

GF: All forms of despair, regardless of what seems to be their cause, are a secret form of false life. What you have said about yourself I am sure is true, and I know is true about the world we live in. But allowing one's consciousness to become a captive of the conflict that enters one's awareness is a part of the darkness this same self condemns. Give this torment up and into you will return the life and grace you remember.

akaia: How do I give up this torment when I don't recognize it as such? There are some days that I can hardly function, then I hear the news and realize something has happened in the world and the Earth herself is in pain (and I have felt it).

GF: If your state described is what you allege, then there is nothing to be done other than surrender yourself to the process of this (unfolding compassion) and allow it to work its way upon your soul. Endure it. There are reasons for this kind of sensitivity, and God will reveal them in His time.

RobF: Is there a point of diminishing returns (say after 35 to 40 minutes) when doing Exercise #11 (Go Quiet) in your Key of Kings book? I could go longer if you recommend it, but my thoughts are continually wandering off for minutes at a time before I realize what has happened and I come back to observing my thoughts. I like to fit prayer into these sessions as well, so I am wondering how much time to allocate to each.

GF: Certain parts of us can run out of necessary force to produce productive results. Having said this, I'll add though that, seeing how you are wandering off the longer you work at the exercise of being quiet and attentive to yourself, it sounds to me like the exercise is working. We want to catch our own states as they slip in and out of us. What we do to this end is always valuable for us.

RobF: You espouse complete physical relaxation in this "Go Quiet" exercise. Do you advocate the same physical relaxation exercise while in prayer mode?

GF: Prayer as an active work of the mind and heart that may require states of attention that prohibit relaxation as described. However, as one’s prayers flower, then comes a (highly) relaxed state of self that follows naturally.

looneykin: What makes us seek a higher self?

GF: It has always been said that the love that we seek in a higher life is the same love set into us that puts us on the Path to find this Lover.

zbert: How do we come to a point in our lives where we are not driven by success, money, etc.? I have enjoyed great financial success, but feel like I have given up part of my soul for this success.

GF: We are not driven in this life by success or money, but by the desire we have to become someone real through these things. As such, all pursuits are a secret punishment of the soul that pursues these impossible opposites. Our awakening to this presently unconscious pain is what naturally changes our preference as to a path in this life.

KautiousKat: What would you recommend to someone who finds no others around them that want the truth? I feel I have used these conditions to learn, grow, etc., but now feel this is old and elementary and wish to be with other like-minded truth seekers. I am liking nothing else but truth, more everyday. Is it normal to be "stranded" in this way, or will I eventually find others with whom I can grow?

GF: The company of other individuals who love the Truth is something that if one can have, is well worth all such costs. Have you ever considered coming out to visit the Foundation here in southern Oregon and attending some of the talks for awhile? Just a thought.

alex: I was struck with your comment (relating to growing in the light) "where a person walks into a meeting at work and everyone gets up and leaves." In all humility, there have been days where I am at work, feeling fine within myself, but the aggressive negativity directed towards me from so many individuals in one day is staggering and leaves me wondering what is going on.

GF: Learn what it means to disappear to yourself, and then the activities or appearances of others toward you will be as a rain storm to the sky it falls through. This disappearing act of self can be done, in fact it is what this Work leads us to wherein at last we are free from negative influences, regardless of their source.

alex: Can you comment on what Christ meant by "agree with your adversary quickly lest they deliver you up"? Was it to mean that no matter what you say to your adversary, they are just not going to get it?

GF: This passage has a number of meanings. One of them, and a more esoteric one, is that the part of us that would argue with another must be at the same low level of his adversary. What we resist in ourselves not only persists, but actually grows in us, therefore we are delivered "up" into the negativity we would fight with.

Diojeneez: Vernon Howard said "God doesn't think about you! There is no self to think about!" What exactly does that mean??

GF: God is love. True love is without conditions or a center. All are creations of God's love. Therefore, there is no one apart from this love or its center. Therefore there is no separate self for God to consider.

MOS: I've been moved to a different kind of position at work. I am trying to move to the unknown, but my thoughts keep telling me I should be doing what I've been doing in my past. It makes me get uptight about where I am, and I find myself getting lost in thought about where I am and where I should be. How can I put these thoughts behind me?

GF: Learn as best you can what it means to deal with what is in your power and refuse to participate in what is not. It is in your power to see the destructive quality in such self-considerations as you've described. It is not in your power to change your physical position upon which these negative states are feeding. Stop feeding the animals and then it won't matter where you are in the zoo.

Ryan: Could you interpret this passage for me? "Your purpose in life should be to live a quiet life, working with your hands, not needing others -- therefore they will respect you and follow you."

GF: Our purpose in life is to awaken to, and fulfill within ourselves, God's love (for us). This love makes a person quiet, simple, and innocent. When a person has such humility born of heaven's grace, others naturally are attracted to his wisdom and the path that he walks.

Clem: Is humility the awareness that, of myself, I have and am... nothing?

GF: Precisely. It is also the gradual realization that in spite of this, God -- the Living Light -- turns around and gives you everything.

hudnut: I have recently had my wallet stolen from me and I have no idea who did it, but regardless, I decided to forgive the individual (and I recognize that doesn't mean I condone what he has done). But my heart still sinks when I see credit card statements come through the mail. How do I lose the victim mentality this seems to produce?

GF: First, on a practical level, your credit card company (having been alerted to the theft) should cover fraudulent charges. Check into this. Once this is done, then the only pain that you could experience at seeing these statements is born out of some form of negative imagination that moves through you, producing some pain over what you're powerless to change. One loses the victim mentality by losing interest in the same.

january: I would like to have a child, but my husband does not. How can I lose the desire for a child? Will I be able to live without resentment?

GF: I don't think that one can lose the desire for a child if the longing for motherhood is a True one. Having said this, why must you lose this desire simply because present conditions don't permit it? A desire can live in us without resentment towards whatever prohibits its fulfillment. Desires in themselves are not destructive, it is the sense of self we derive from them that destroys all forms of love.

Ryan: Another great verse from the Bible that can be interpreted is: "I assure you, even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed you could say to this mountain, "Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

GF: This passage relates to the fact that as we are made in the image of God, each of us is in fact a model of the universe. There is no power not available to the mind that has entered into relationship with the power that moves the universe.

DebbiE: You have said that Christ did not come to die for our sins, and that he was an historical figure. He was obviously an enlightened one, but was he put to death because of others' fear of the Truth? My husband feels that those who don't believe he came to save us from our sins by dying are not Christians. I don't know how to respond to this except I know it's not Truth.

GF: Christ was an historical figure, there is no doubt of this. But Christ is also an eternal being whose life and light is as present now as it was before his appearance 2000 years ago. It is not the man who saves the man from anything, let alone his or her sins. It is the light of Christ that dispels the elemental darkness in the undeveloped soul that is the source of that soul's "sins." He is saved by the Light from himself.

puppy: Is there a place of rest on this journey? It seems that my life gets calm and sweet, and then a huge wave of problems hits me broadside as soon as I think everything is OK. I am currently dealing with major money problems and all the anxiety that comes with that. Is this because I still have not seen or done what I need to do? I get discouraged and weary and sometimes feel so very alone. Help!

GF: Our experience of this journey is not unlike the cycles of rising and setting sun until we realize that, seen or not, the Light is always with us, guiding us if we will follow.

bhodges: What can I do to help me stay in the now? My mind is constantly moving from the past to the present. I would love to spend more time in the now.

GF: Before we can hope to be present to ourselves in the now, we must discover what takes us out of the moment. Get my book Designing Your Destiny and in it you will find not just the insights you seek, but practical exercises to help you achieve your aims.

Randy: Please help me understand how being in the present moment leads to a disappearance of self and where the opposites fit in. It seems the more I do the work, the less I understand. Is that good?

GF: Time (for us) is the distance between what we imagine we are and what we hope to become -- the opposites. As we realize that no such self exists apart from this act of imagination (and the sensations produced by these desires), we (false sense of self) disappear.

jfox: You write about awakening and not identifying with negative thoughts, emotions, images, etc. Should we not identify with positive thoughts as well?

GF: All forms of identifying with thoughts are limitations and ultimately a source of fear.

Diojeneez: I heard a psychologist say that we produce about fifty thousand thoughts in a single day, and that the majority are negative or habitual. Is this true? It sounds exaggerated. I only catch and twenty of them! So if it is true, then can I reach the point where I see all fifty thousand thoughts?

GF: Most thoughts are not our productions; as for the rest, we need only stay awake as best possible for us, and welcome the light by which we see what it reveals in us. Illumination appears by degrees we cannot measure.

DebbiE: "Foregoing ourselves leads us to finding our True Selves"… I have been considering going to a health spa for I have symptoms that I think could be harmful. Is it better to just stay home and immerse myself in this Work? I'll get the answers I need by doing that?

GF: We must each learn to listen to our own intuition about such things.

Clemagain: As an exercise, I decide to scratch my face and know that the resulting sensation is given to me. Was the initial impulse to scratch my face (as an exercise) given to me as well?

GF: We must not get caught in the trap of thinking about ourselves like this. Such considerations serve nothing but a neurotic self that seeks what it can never find: confirmation of itself.

anne: What is the esoteric answer to the career that I want and am working toward, and the dismal job that I have to endure to make ends meet? I am working on my inner self, and people are reacting positively toward me, but my chosen career is not advancing. Is a career you love and want a desire and not a need?

GF: It may or may not be; each of us must find our way through these things, and work patiently to realize the truth about ourselves and our circumstances. What we love, we will be united with. What we desire will always elude us, even should we win the object desired.

Diojeneez: How does one speak directly to God, as if conversing with a friend (even in the esoteric meaning speaking to God), and be certain that one is indeed speaking to Him?

GF: God doesn’t care the manner in which we attempt to commune, only that we do as best we can. The Divine will direct us from that point.

BobMac: Does it really not matter how bad outer conditions might be?

GF: For the man or woman who loves truth, who wants a God-centered life more than anything else, all things are in his favor! Of this be assured.

GF: Our time together has nearly run its course, so now it's time to give you my remaining notes on what we must do if we wish to make a true fresh start in our life. Here is a brief summary of the material we covered at the outset.

First we looked over certain ideas concerning what we found to be false "places" and "times" in our lives where one commonly searches for a new beginning. Some discoveries later we reached a necessary conclusion: The true "place" where our lives start fresh, wherein we realize a New Life, is not located on any compass or setting of a clock; it is found only within a (new) Spirit.

We then gave a familiar name to this never-ending, always-beginning spiritual state, a word known to all of us: We called this "place and time" of Newness the -- "Now" --. And then we left off with the idea that if we wish to start life all over, our one intention must be -- from wherever we are in life at present -- to consciously realize this Evergreen Moment as our own.

This "Now" spoken of here is more than just an idea about a perfectly present and incorruptible moment. The Now I attempt to describe with these words is actually a conscious Presence. This perpetual Nature of Newness is without beginning or end, and lives by its own Light. Seen or not, this Light is indwelling, and to be in this "Now" is to be one with its Newness.

Which brings us to this idea: Now, the New, does not begin in the fading fires of the "old"; it is not a continuation of time or creature, but the secret ground of their lives. It is important to grasp that the Spirit of Newness does not carry itself forward, but begins each moment new. And we must gain this understanding of its nature if we wish its Life to be our own.

Next we must come to see that this newness of "Now" is one and the same with our awareness of its presence within us. Its moment of Being is our own, and its Life refreshes ours. We dwell within its domain even though this eternal Newness sustains us. This being said, we are ready to discuss what is required of us if we wish a relationship with this Spirit of True Renewal.

First, we need to touch upon a spiritual truism: That which is truly New "begins" only after the "end" (of something) is reached. This idea calls to mind the myth of the Phoenix resurrected out of the ashes, meaning what is authentically New is never a continuation of what "was." Now, if we apply this insight to our everyday life, it looks like this: We cannot "plan" a fresh start in life.

We must not push this idea away just because it doesn't fit in with our most recent set of plans! We must do something new instead: Rather than allowing ourselves to be used by habitual low-level reactions, let us choose to respond with our God-given ability for higher reasoning. So let's think through this last insight and willingly reach its logical conclusion.

How can we have a "plan" for becoming what we hope will make us new that doesn't have its roots in some former plan of ours, one in which we did not succeed else we would not be struggling to start over yet again? And if we bring our past into the Now, into this our present moment, then this moment in which we live becomes the past again, in spite of what we call it.

Spiritually speaking, the cost of starting over is not what we pay to achieve some desire of ours, but is in our willingness to let go of -- to dare to live without -- any desire we may have whose promise of fulfillment drives us to search for it in another tomorrow. The fresh start of a New Life appears only as our "old" life disappears -- only as we willingly "die" to whom we have been.

There are any number of ways to state this timeless truth, but the action required remains unchanged: If we wish to start our lives over new, the spiritual price (of admission) is that we agree to no longer carry over our thoughts about ourselves from moment to moment.

To this end, and to help us do what is needed to free ourselves, we must see that while our habit of revisiting and then reliving past mental and emotional states may lend us welcome and familiar sensations, this same "loan" costs us our chance to know the Now, to be New.

Christ often spoke of this exact cost, and how it is that "taking thought for the morrow" is powerless to increase our potential for a new start. He knew, as we must discover within ourselves, that our present sense of life is a derivative experience of an unregenerate self whose time-bound nature fears the New because it cannot live in the realm of this Spiritual Now.

However, these truths tell only half the story. Christ, as well as all the Great Wise Ones through the ages, also spoke of another cost. But this one we should all agree to pay, that is if we hope to make our home within the Timeless. Here we learn of the opportunity to exchange our "old" life for a New one if we will work at a certain interior task from moment to moment

We must dare to step out of our past -- and into the Now -- every time we can catch ourselves about to be carried off by some common self-consideration. This means we watch, catch, and then drop our thoughts as they appear within our awareness, instead of picking each one up and holding it to our ear like a seashell in the hopes of catching the sweet sound of (our) self again.

This deliberate work of walking away from one's past is a prerequisite for any true fresh start in life. But the false self will not sit quietly by as we work to break its hold on us. It may profess otherwise, but this dark nature loathes the Now because it is unable to enter into its Newness. After all, how can it? Might as well try to take a shadow into the sun's corona!

This thought-driven desire machine only knows itself by calling up and then considering its own images of past experiences. But in the Now there are no well-worn images of life -- only the Spirit of New Life Itself!

As we work to be in the Now, and from our New understanding strive to leave the old thought-self behind us, it will cry out something like this: "But you can't live without me! Who will watch out for you and see to your well-being if not me?" And though it is necessary you learn to craft your own answer to this trickster nature who is the enemy of Newness, here is one response worth remembering:

Let the following words be your heart's answer. Send it out from your silently seeing mind to this deceptive foe of all fresh starts in life: "What I need, you cannot give me. What I long to see, you cannot show me. And what I hope to be, you cannot make of me. This conversation has reached its end."

Then, just keep "walking" ahead, into the New and unknown Now. Remember that renewing your intention moment to moment is both the price of admission and your entrance. Keep the Light of this new understanding before you and all the shadows that would stand in the way of your new beginning must remain behind you. Let this Truth be your guide.

Our time has run out. Remember all that we have learned tonight. Do your inner work to live in conscious relationship with the ever new Now. Persist until you see that nothing in the universe can interfere with your wish to start life over because this wish comes to you from Reality itself.