My mother died this year and I have never felt such agony of grief. To say I am tortured in my misery would be an understatement. I admit that I neglected my mother and I accept responsibility for that. But even if I dedicated the rest of my life to serving others, it wouldn't compensate for the suffering I caused her. It is a given that I should not take my life. For me to try to alleviate my suffering does not seem just. I accept that I may still need psychiatric treatment, but are you able to assist my self-damaged psyche at all?
Regardless of appearance in any given unwanted moment, you are never "stuck" in a situation; rather, you are a temporary captive of what you've yet to understand about your own consciousness.
There are parts in all of us that want to relive what torments us, and that live to resist the very images that they are complicit with recalling into one's consciousness. There is no "fix" for these aspects of our unconscious matrix, save for bringing into that same nature the light of higher self-understanding. The real problem isn't that you (or anyone else) is "broken"... it's rather that we are divided inwardly, and haven't a clue what this conflicted interior life does to us... as we listen to Humpty Dumpty tell us how to reassemble him.
To this end, I want to leave you with one thought, then the rest will be up to you. There is no such thing as a past, a pain, or a problem in one's life that is greater than love. And by this I don't mean love in the usual sentimental, emotional sense; I mean the higher love that reconciles whatever is brought into and placed under its healing influence. This higher love, the true intelligence of the heart, knows exactly what "to do" with these dark states that are pulling you down. The only question is: are you willing to let go of who you have been in favor of realizing who you are in reality? Persist with you wish to be free; refuse to fall into self-loathing; welcome whatever revelations come to you for your wish to be free. The rest is done for you.