Here is a new and true beginning you can start with today that will put you in the right place for leaving an old self-defeating choice behind you for good:
Any time someone criticizes or corrects you, dare to go against your habitual urge to defend yourself.
Instead of reacting with heated resistance to something you don't want to hear about yourself, just listen to what's being said. This true beginning gives you the opportunity to see what you need to see about yourself. And here's a good guideline for evaluating moments such as these. The more you want to resist the things being said about you, the more you need to hear those very words. So don't criticize back, either out loud or under your breath. If you meet these moments with an argument, you've already lost.
Remember, there's always something to learn from something said that stings, even if it's just to discover that you're still being tripped up by the long shadow of your own falsely inscrutable image.