I have been married for many years. Recently, I discovered that my husband, who travels a lot for his job, has been unfaithful to me during his time away from home. I don't want to expose what I know because I'm afraid he will leave me. What should I do? (From student correspondence)
It's of little comfort when someone we love has betrayed us, but while comfort may be what we want in such times, what we really need is a new understanding of who we are... that includes realizing our value as a human being is not determined by others, let alone someone who doesn't even value his own integrity. I know it's hard to see it just now, but your pain is nothing compared to that of the one who causes it; yes, it seems you're being lied to, but anyone who lies lives in hell. Your pain will wither and pass in time (if you will just let it go); his will fester and eventually consume him. That's how it works when we consent to compromise ourselves (and then others, as a result). So don't allow yourself to be made in his image by allowing resentment or hatred to rule your heart. Yes, it's a tough row to hoe, but nothing compared to the future that awaits those who lie about love.