To believe that we’re only as worthwhile as others agree to see us burdens us with feeling that winning the good opinion of others is somehow our responsibility. Such a mistaken mindset leaves us the perennial victim of our relationships, and never the victor in them.
The only way we can be released from any painful sense of false responsibility is to see that it is based in a false belief. To see through the false belief is to be released from the weight of useless false responsibilities.
Study carefully the following list of four false beliefs and the false responsibilities that are never far away from them. Dare to learn everything you can about your own false beliefs and then watch how the weight of false responsibilities falls off of you.
#1: False Belief: Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs.
False Responsibility: You feel as if you must remain in control of everyone and everything at all times.
True Responsibility: Welcome everything that happens to you as an opportunity to see through and transcend the unconscious burden of being someone laden with any false beliefs.
#2: False Belief: You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are.
False Responsibility: You’re convinced that you must do whatever it takes to win the approval of everyone you meet.
True Responsibility: Be real...Learn what it means to be in possession of yourself, starting with reclaiming your life.
#3: False Belief: You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today.
False Responsibility: Unless you worry about and suffer over your past, your tomorrows are not going to turn out right.
True Responsibility: You can be a new person right now. Let go of anything that wants to revisit and relive the past.
#4: False Belief: Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.
False Responsibility: It’s up to you to shoulder the weight of those painful thoughts and feelings that want to drag you down.
True Responsibility: See that agreeing to suffer from your own mental and emotional states makes as much sense as blaming the french fry that just burned your mouth.
Let me encourage you to sit down and make your own list of false beliefs, and the legion of false responsibilities that come with them. Remember that your one true responsibility in life—the one action that will always see to your success in life—is to always be as awake and receptive to the present moment as you can be.
If we refuse to see what life is trying to show us about ourselves, then we can’t learn. If we don’t learn the truth of ourselves, then true self-knowledge becomes impossible. Without higher self-knowledge, there is no way to rise above ourselves...to reach that innermost path that alone leads to the fulfillment of our highest possibilities.