The wholeness of whatever is true must be seen; it cannot be comprehended by thought any more than it's possible to experience the depth, breadth, and majesty of the Grand Canyon in words alone. What troubles us about any person, regardless of his or her psychological make-up, is what that person stirs in us; this can be because a similar quality dwells in the darkness of our own as yet awakened character, or the disturbance we feel in their presence can be caused by a negative state in us, born of some instant unconscious judgment of that character in the offending individual. And it's worth noting that all judgment of others is due to resisting what that person makes us conscious of in ourselves. So, either way, the point is that whatever we feel in ourselves is always some aspect of our own nature, else we couldn't feel it...and that to blame another for the negative states generated by our system is like hating a neighboring factory for the noise being generated in our own. It's also worth mentioning that whatever the expressed deviant behavior observed may be, it's usually the effect of some deeper unseen psychological/spiritual issue, and that many times what we feel and "fight" with (or blame) in someone else is different than what drives the exterior manifestation. For instance, all "bullies" are driven by fear, as is any act of arrogance.