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The Light of Awakening

  • Posted: Wednesday, January 27, 2010
  • 267 words
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Question:

I have struggled to awaken for so many years, but have found your recorded audio and video to be of tremendous help. Of late, I've been following along with your recent exercises on attention. I've noticed what is akin to a healing crisis in my physical body. Some chronic pains have gotten worse and some old pains have returned and gone. I can see all of this as fear trying to hold on. Through it all, I stay as present as I can, one moment at a time, trying to "give it up," or simply "give." This seems to reveal new layers every day. It sure beats grabbing onto the "boat anchor" of thought! (From student correspondence)

Answer:

There are parts of us, many actually, that want nothing to do with our awakening because the process empowers us, through the Divine (within us), to have authority over these same unwilling parts. However, as you are seeing, they will not go away "gently" -- but fight for their lives using any means available. Usually, this means the weakest part of us is assaulted first, and this incursion can cause a host of new or renewed problems. But never forget this: any darkness within us that we meet with the willingness to bear it for the sake of the Light that we love must yield to our surrendering. It's a great paradox: in refusing to resist, but rather persisting with our real wish that produced the onset of that suffering, we are eventually shown that who we really are is neither that suffering, or the self that resists it. Persist!

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