What causes disputes between human beings? What is this business of "what I believe" vs. "what you believe"?
Can we see that you cannot separate what you believe in from what you want? When I say, "I believe in this," and "I believe that you should be like that," what I'm really saying is that I insist you be what I believe you should be, because if you don't, we have war. I want you to be what I want you to be. I want the world to be the world I want it to be. I don't want anybody occupying my territory -- whether we're talking about countries, or you're coming into my office and bringing a problem.
The real root of the violence is identification. When the thought comes about what she did, or what he didn't do, or why they said those things, or why is my life like this... every last thought or feeling that comes to you as something that you resist... the enemy is the product of resisting something that you're identified with.
Now this understanding would be meaningless if there weren't an implied action at the root of it. So, am I willing to die to my hatred instead of finding life in a future where you won't be the cause of it anymore? Am I willing to die to my selfishness because I see the absolute futility of clinging to something I can't keep, no matter what I do? Am I willing to die to the part of myself that has any enemy at all, because I realize that as long as I have an enemy, I am my own worst suffering, my own pain?
Because If I'm willing to do that, then in every moment of unconscious resistance in which this knee-jerk, hateful, violent, stressed, anxious reaction appears, I understand that now is the time that I must do what my fathers (or mothers) have never done. Am I willing to pay that price? That's where you remember yourself, and you choose in those moments to bring all of it into the light of yourself instead of blaming the darkness on something outside of you. It is a choice, and if you don't make it, it is made for you, and the choice that is made for you is the continuation of the conflict.