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Walking Away From Painful Relationships

  • Posted: Thursday, November 19, 2015
  • 254 words
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Question:

I've heard this maxim again and again: that you'll repeat an experience until you no longer need it or resist it. Yet I know of more than one person who left a boss, spouse, or friend because they were fed up with the relationship. None of them claim they grew in wisdom or grace or some other form of enlightenment. They claim the only thing that changed was that they woke up to the fact they were free to leave. They are happy and at peace. To be honest, I would rather grow less and be happier than to become a great saint by experiencing new conflict to overcome by letting go of resistance! Could you give me some insight on why people seem to score a home run by simply walking away from what they find painful?

Answer:

First mistake: comparing oneself to anyone else or their circumstances is a recipe for inconsolable unrest. Second mistake: assuming one knows what someone else has gone through, or is going through, that initiates an action such as leaving behind something painful. In some instances, walking away is the fruit of that of person's next level of freedom because they no longer need the situation as it was. But, in many cases (likely most), walking away is not a solution, but the secret seed of another relationship like the one they left...that will become a thorn tree...precisely because the lesson was not learned and is not solved by abandoning the situation being blamed (for it).

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