The real underlying limitation in our relationships is rooted in how we look at and think about others who are in our life. But, perhaps more accurately stated: the real problem we have with others is what we don't yet see and understand about ourselves! Here's just one example:

One of the big things that really troubles us about others is that they just don't "measure up" - at least in that troubled moment - to our expectations of them. In our eyes, they have failed to "complete" us as we had imagined is their responsibility. Let's take a moment to really consider this last idea. Is it really his or her failure to perform as "assigned" that's making us feel unhappy, or... is the real limitation our unseen false belief that others are responsible for how we feel?

This false belief, that "your" purpose in life is to ensure that I remain contented, pleased with our relationship, literally chokes the life... and the love out of it.

It's critical we look at the above idea through the lens of our past experiences with others, in particular as it regards those we may have loved and hurt, or who we feel have hurt us. Only then will we be able to see how this misunderstanding can't do anything but mangle our relationships by creating - as it must - a false, but fierce dependency upon others. The facts that follow pretty much speak for themselves.

The greater our dependency on others to provide us with a sense of self-worth, or to see ourselves in their eyes as being special and unique, the more we feel some form of resentment building up in us when, as passing time always proves inevitably, they fail to meet our expectations.

This pent up resentment usually leads to an outburst of some kind, fueled by frustration or anger toward them. Of course, attending these heated moments - that can't take place without their company - are those too familiar thoughts and feelings "telling" us we really have no choice but to "correct" that person. After all, he or she has failed to fulfill the role that we assigned to them in that relationship. Again, past experience proves the point: could we feel this kind of disappointment with someone's behavior if we hadn't first harnessed him to the "yoke and plow" of our own perfect expectations? There's no other good explanation for our negative reaction toward a partner - let alone someone we may have just met - other than an unseen false belief that nothing they do in life is supposed to disturb us! And, in case this isn't abundantly clear, as long as we believe that anyone else is responsible for our sense of wellbeing, we feel it's our right to keep spurring them on until they get it right!

To summarize: the more we lean on some relationship - to fulfill any false purpose unknowingly appointed to it - such demands not only blind us, but they secretly serve to bind us to something worse: they keep us from realizing the real purpose - the magic - hidden in each and every relationship that comes into our life.