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There lives nothing real in our past -- regardless of how disappointing or painful it may have been -- that can grab us and make us its captive, any more than dark shadows have the power to keep us from walking into the sunlight.
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Only as we run out of ways to explain our pain to ourselves do we come to realize the true source of that suffering; a revelation that includes the shocking fact that whatever keeps giving us the reasons for this pain... is inseparable from its unwanted, yet unabated continuation.
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The purpose of a compass is not to tell you who or what you are; it's created to give you trusted guidance, so you don't lose your way. So it is with any revelation about yourself; its (Divine) light is to help you see all that you may yet be, and certainly not to judge you over what you are not.
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Imagine trying to see the whole of an ocean through a ship's porthole, and we have a pretty good idea why (our) life can so often feel small and confined; as if we have no choice but to be swept out to sea on a single wave of some fearful thought or feeling.
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Resisting the revelation of any existing limitation of ours... is like fearing the ocean because we never took the time to learn how to swim!
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Part 1: If we mistakenly give any negative reaction its "life" -- then the opposite must hold true: we can consciously withdraw that same life any time we so choose! Part 2: Starve a cold, feed a fever. Starve a reaction, feed your freedom!
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Real life never stops starting over; it is the eternal showcase of the Divine.
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It's impossible to die to the pain of our past... as long as we remain identified with an unconscious nature that can't seem to go through a day without reliving some dark memory it then summarily resists.
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No unwanted experience of life will ever be "over" for us until we're inwardly awake enough...to get over wishing that it was.
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Here's why the negative sense of self is blind: it doesn't want to see the smallest thing that challenges whatever it's become identified with; and yet (it is) unable to look at anything else...Which means it is not just a prisoner of what it resists, but (is its) unconscious keeper, as well.
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Hoping that a memory from "days gone-by" can show you the way out of any unwanted moment -- and into a safer time to come -- is like finding yourself lost in a dark canyon, and following the echo of your own plaintive voice -- mistaking it to belong to someone who's come to rescue you.
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The mind asleep to itself doesn't realize it creates the stress and strain it can't stop trying to rescue itself from; and that the more it struggles to think of a way out of its self-induced conflict, the greater grows its struggle.