There is no such thing as the winning side of the argument. We argue because we are in distress in the moment. We can't change our experience with anyone by arguing with them. I believe that what's wrong is that you are giving me an experience I don't want, and that the solution to the suffering is to change you in order to avoid the experience of myself. I can't bear being me because of what you are! My experience of you is showing something in me I didn't know about. What keeps me blind to what I need to see is anger, blame, and coercion. We must agree to see ourselves as we are without blaming. "Physician, heal thyself." We can't be there to receive the lesson if we blame others. Your task with other people is to give them the space to see what they are in the moment, by going into that space yourself, where you're observing yourself, aware of your own mechanical reactions. Then you and the world can begin to heal.