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How Do I Stop Self-Judgments from Entering My Mind?
How Do I Stop Self-Judgments from Entering My Mind?
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How Do I Stop Self-Judgments from Entering My Mind?

  • Posted: Tuesday, February 11, 2025
  • Meeting: Sunday, February 2, 2025

  • Duration: 3min 22sec

Additional Details

Guy Finley answers a viewer's question about the constant self-judgment we impose upon ourselves. He explains that the need we feel to "succeed" comes from an identity attached to an end goal, and when that goal isn't met, it feels like everything falls apart. Guy goes on to say that instead of trying to control the judgments, to observe the one trying to control them, and just like physical training, the process is uncomfortable but leads to growth. The more we learn to bear the light of awareness, the clearer it becomes -- our task isn't to judge ourselves but to watch the judge and choose to see rather than prove.

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Transcript

Kate: All right. We're going to go next to this question that came in on another video on YouTube. This is from Jordan. Guy, I am at a point now where all my pressing questions about what to do, and how can I live up to the spiritual image I have of myself, are a double-edged sword. When I fail through this comparison, the judgment absolutely cripples me. My question today is this: when the judgment comes up, which is 24-7 -- in work, in the gym, at home... it's constant -- should I just say impartially, "Well, there goes Jordan judging herself again, there goes Jordan being greedy again" -- and just "observe," do nothing else at all? Just observe myself all day long? I need clarity on this big time. Thanks, Guy.

Guy: Hi, Jordan. Yes, I think that's a pretty good idea, especially if you've listened to today's talk. I hope you have. If you have, then you know that I've kind of answered that question, "To whom does this need belong to 'succeed'?" Because if I can begin to understand that something in me has decidedly identified with what this 'end game' is to my life, then when I miss the mark at the end game, then suddenly that nature feels like it's come to the end of itself, and all of life goes to hell in a handbasket. So, I think it's a good idea, Jordan. Just work with that. The end question of today's talk was, "If we can't give up trying to control the unwanted experience as you've described of any given moment, then was it ever in our control to begin with?" Because if I can answer that, as I can, "No, it was never in control to begin with," then I can ask, "Who's in control?" So then, instead of trying to control, I become the one observing the one who's trying to control... I can feel the pain of it, Jordan. You know how you feel the burn when you're working with irons... doing your weightlifting, and all that a person goes through aerobically when running, going out and playing 36 holes of golf or whatever you're able to do, and you push yourself a little bit, your body screams, "No, no, no." Why?  Because it's gone as far as it can go. And, we know with exercising that if we just do that, we'll be able to gain a little more strength. The muscle will break down, which isn't fun but when it builds itself back up, it'll be a little stronger. It's not fun, these lessons we're talking about in this school, in my work. But the more we're willing to bear the light if you will, the light that brings these revelations, the more we see what we need to see, and it'll become increasingly evident to you, Jordan, what needs to be done in these moments. And, it won't be judging yourself. It'll be watching the judge and doing nothing else, and then making up my mind. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to use all my strength to "see," not to "prove."

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How Do I Stop Self-Judgments from Entering My Mind?

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