The feeling one has of being on a hamster wheel... running and running after something to put an end to one's running is a mandatory stage in our individual process of discovery and awakening. It is in essence much as you described: questions and thoughts give rise to more questions and thoughts; frustration rises; the fear of never attaining escalates; what seems to be new plans and actions are taken, leading one back to more of the same, or worse - a negative state that says the whole wish and one's work to be realized is useless. Perhaps one gives up... but soon after the cycle begins again. This is how it must be until we realize that any and all efforts to add anything to ourselves - to make of ourselves something that we've imagined we're intended to be - is futile.

Please don't misunderstand this last sentence: one's search for a relationship with the celestial is seeded into one by the celestial itself... which means the wish to be realized is part of Reality itself. However, what is futile, is our identification with the level of consciousness that believes the ambition to awaken can rescue one from the conflict inherent in any level of consciousness trying to escape itself. The more that we see the truth of our unseen relationship with this lower nature, the less identified we become with what it tells us we must have or be to be free. Freedom is dying to this unconscious nature... not listening to what it tells us we must do to satisfy its demands.