Self-Compromise

The realization that there are parts of us that are against us can hit us with a jolt. But when we see that these wrong parts have actually created the pains that they then falsely promise to free us of, we eagerly seek -- and find -- the real Friend who will bring all pains to an end.

One way or another, we all suffer over things that we can't stop doing to ourselves or to others. Adding to the conflict inherent in self-compromising behaviors is the fact that it's frustrating beyond belief since most of us (in some way) have built a business, worked, and succeeded in some place - won accolades, impressed our friends - and we've weathered storms.

In this answer to a viewer's question, bestselling "letting go" author Guy Finley talks about a strange part of ourselves that actually thrives on the sensations it receives when it does something harmful. It is the very awareness of this inner dynamic that brings about the gradual end to all self-harming behavior.

Every day we are attacked by a multitude of pains, so frequent and so familiar we don't even question them. In fact, we accept them as friends, as something to occupy us. These pains can range from petty irritations to the anxiety we feel every time we write a check and see our bank balance decrease, to concerns about our health. One of the major sources of pain involves other people and our relationships with them.

In this answer to a viewer's question, "letting go" author Guy Finley talks about how there is a part of our consciousness that will seek to derive a false sense of self out of anything, even if it means going into pain over something that is unwanted.

In this short video clip, Guy talks about two words that we can use in our relationships with others for the purpose of exposing the part of us that wants to gain a personal advantage at the expense of what is true.

Regardless of the assertion of any negative state that seeks to convince you otherwise (using its painful presence within you as "proof" that the prison you're locked within will stand until the end of time), apply this one great truth: All self-punishing states are "lies." They must break down if they don't succeed in breaking down your willingness to test their reality. How do you...

Topics covered:  Most human beings believe that they already know what love is, as well as what it means to be loved; To discover what love is begins with seeing what it is not; We believe that power is found in the part. It is that very belief that is the pain.

Topics covered:  We are the way we are because of what we turn to in unwanted moments. As long as you spend your life not wanting, you will have the life you don't want; You do not know how to be yourself. All that you have are the derivative images that have been picked up through the years about what it means to be a successful human being; Our sense of self is based on a fight with life, trying to make it to conform to the images we have about who we are.

Topics covered:  One particularly pervasive lie in our culture is that we believe that we are only as valuable as other people see us as being; Until what is concealed in us is revealed, it can never be healed; "This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." -- William Shakespeare