Key Lesson
Part 1
The only thing in us that longs to be flattered are unstable parts of us that not only love to be lied to, but that actively seek that kind of support through the careful cultivation of some appearance we put on in order to win it.
Part 2
Too late does the fool who dines on flattery discover that not only has his wallet been emptied, but that he is being slowly, secretly, fatted for the kill.
Receiving approval occurs spontaneously and healthfully in any natural human relationship. However, there is a vast difference between winning and seeking approval. We must be very alert to the whole process of peer approval. Cunning human beings understand just how deep and strong run the forces that drive us to look for approval from others. They use this knowledge of our weakness for their own gain. Only higher self-awareness, which produces active inner alertness, can keep us safe from these unconscious and misguided self-betraying forces -- as well as from those who would use them against us.
It is our fear of being alone and in doubt, of wanting to feel certain that what we are doing is right, that compels us to seek the approval of others. So this tells us that the chief cause of why our lives so often wind up in the hands of others is not that they are superior or that the world is too strong for us, but that we don't want to face the uncertainty and aloneness we think we are too weak to bear. This is the real cause of all of our wrong relationships in life. We have been betrayed by a belief in our own weakness.
The conscious refusal to go along with what your weakness wants you to do to escape its uncertainty is what invokes and finally delivers real inner confidence. This new kind of strength gradually becomes the cornerstone of a true individual existence -- the life you've always wanted. The stakes are actually eternal -- but self-victory is as certain as the fact that light always triumphs over darkness. If you will stay in the middle of this struggle for true self-possession, not asserting your individuality but allowing it to flourish and to blossom -- bearing what you must bear by refusing to submit yourself to negative, self-betraying influences -- you will come to know the highest approval that life can award: reality itself will approve you. And when it does, all of your struggles will become a thing of the past. You will possess yourself. No one around you will suspect you now live in a new kind of bright inner world -- a world that is always on your terms, because your terms and the terms of this happy new inner world are never in conflict. You will have won your own life.
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Be Alert to Self-Betraying Influences
Posted by Guy Finley in 459 Galice Road, Merlin, OR 97532 on , and updated on .
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