If you want something to flower, you have to put it out into the light. It is the light that makes things flower. Spiritual work is very simple on one hand, but on the other hand it is not easy due to the parts of us that want to keep us in the dark. In reality, there is nothing that stands in the way of you bringing the whole of yourself into the light of the moment.
The light is always brand new. Inside men and women live an infinite number and variety of "seeds", and these seeds within us need the light. These seeds need a willingness on our part to bring them into full awareness. You cannot create artificially what only the light can give. Presently we create artificial light for ourselves in the form of reasonings, explanations, and justifications for why we are the way we are. The reason that nothing changes is because we unwittingly chose in favor of supplying our own "light".
Each person has a very specific responsibility in this life, and until you fully meet that responsibility you can only have a partial relationship with life. You cannot separate the value of one's life from the responsibility of that life. Whenever you feel yourself "wilting", without hope, or a discouragement rises up inside of you -- as it must -- your one task is to be willing to bring yourself as deliberately as you possibly can into the light of awareness of yourself, which will include becoming conscious of the many parts of yourself that bear an artificial light.
It is impossible for you to know why what is happening to you is happening to you. Every attempt on your part to figure that out is created by the part of you that wants to stand outside of what is happening and shine its own artificial light on it. You must not be a self-supplier of light. Try to understand that all the light you need is supplied in every moment of your need for it, and that there is never a moment in which you do not need light. If you want to flower as a human being, learn to stand in the light... do it now and in every moment that you can remember. Don't create light, stand in it... it's already there.