Surely we've known certain "perfect" moments in our lives. But who hasn't been in the middle of a dream vacation, without a care in the world, when--kaboom! In spite of the abundance around us, we're suddenly negative, deeply distressed simply because something or someone fails to please us according to our expectations!
Or how about those moments when--regardless of how many of our friends may hold us in high esteem--a single disapproving face, even from a stranger, obliterates our sense of self-worth? In an instant we feel ourselves all alone, unloved, stripped of value.
As difficult and shocking as it may be to consider, the experiences noted above make the following fact irrefutable: within us dwells a certain level of unconscious desire that loves to not want. It has but one purpose: this part of us "lives" to resist anything that doesn't live up to its expectations. Why would anything want to live like that? Because what this dark nature likes most of all is being negative!
In truth, most of us know very little about this negative side of desire because each time it rises up to reject something, we're inwardly directed to look at what it blames for our pain. And by this misdirection we're blinded to the fact that this nature is, in and of itself, the source of the discontentment we're given to feel.
Now, contrast this nature to the more familiar and "friendly" side of desire that we all know and embrace: it "lives" to want; this is a feeling we all know quite well, including the fact that if not momentarily content in the embrace of something it "loves"--this nature is already looking around for what's next. We accept, even lionize this level of self that exists to pursue and to possess what it imagines will make it feel whole and happy. After all, it seems harmless enough to want what we want and to give ourselves freely to this warm and fuzzy side of our desires. But, taking all of these facts above in hand, we can see what few before us have had eyes to see:
Desire is a coin with two faces. One side is known and embraced freely, its appearance welcomed for the pleasures it promises. However, the flip side of this coin, its unseen face, belongs to Desire's dark twin who--being the opposite of her sister--lives only to resist. This nature, the essence of denial itself, conceals its painful presence within us by speaking to us in our own voice, telling us why we feel discontent even as it whispers to us the reasons why we must suffer accordingly.
Let's summarize these discoveries and welcome their revelations, even if they may point to something momentarily disconcerting. It's impossible for us to identify with the pleasure of wanting something without encountering the pain of not wanting whatever will come to stand between that desire and its fulfillment. In other words, on the flip side of that invigorating feeling called "Yes, I want (this)" is that debilitating state called, "No! I don't want (that)."
Personal experience validates this finding. No matter what we give to desire, it's never enough. One way or another, by its very nature, desire always wants more.
The nature of desire can never know lasting contentment because it is literally set against itself; it is a "house divided" in the truest sense of the words, and it only stands for as long as it can keep us shoring up its constantly collapsing sides.
Learning to welcome and then act from this new self-knowledge is the same as embracing a new order of consciousness that can't be tricked into acting against itself.