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Refuse to Be the

Online Study Group for the Week of: Aug 3, 2026

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Refuse to Be the "Whipping Boy" of the Self That Loves to Suffer

  • Posted: Thursday, July 30, 2026
  • Meeting: Wednesday, July 29, 2026

  • Duration: 57min 42sec

Key Lesson Key Lesson

The real thing that's unwanted in any moment is not the event we blame for our pain. The actual source of (our) suffering is in having identified with a negative reaction, and then mechanically resisting this unconscious state now rooted in the darkness of our mind. In other words: resistance is the source of (our) pain, and not the event we blame for it. Once we see our complicity in the creation of these troubled thoughts and feelings... it's not that they go away, but rather that in dropping our identification with them, it is we who are now empowered to depart from their dark world.

Exercise

"Learn to Suffer For Yourself Instead of Over Yourself"

Useless suffering is any form of suffering that produces more of the same. When we suffer OVER something (i.e. an event, a regret, fear, etc.), we merely exchange one pain for another and the cycle continues. To break free from it we must no longer agree to it in the way we have been. 

Learn to suffer FOR yourself instead of suffering OVER yourself. Make a list of the ways you uselessly suffer in your life. Choose to be "no one" instead of someone "important" who exists to suffer. See the futility in useless suffering.

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Refuse to Be the "Whipping Boy" of the Self That Loves to Suffer

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