Everyone can agree that no intelligent, conscious man or woman would ever intentionally hurt him- or herself. No one would choose to ache. Yet the fact remains that all of us do hurt ourselves every day when we harbor self-compromising thoughts and feelings like anger, stress, and resentment. Even at the simplest level, there is no doubt that fear and worry take an immense toll on our health and well-being.
So, then, knowing that reasonable individuals would never intentionally hurt themselves, but also seeing that we often do just that, how do we reconcile this apparent contradiction?
Although it may seem startling at first, there is only one possible conclusion to draw from these facts. In those moments when we compromise ourselves, we must be unconscious -- even though we think that we are awake! In other words, during those times of self-betrayal when we hurt ourselves or others with negative inner states -- even though our eyes are open and all kinds of sensations are coursing through us -- we must be asleep to what we are doing. We could not act against ourselves otherwise.
Intelligence does not cause itself to suffer. Yet, we suffer. This means that we have been fooled by a counterfeit intelligence and have accepted its thinking as our own. During those all too familiar worry-packed moments, we are asleep to ourselves. In this strange psychic slumber we dream we are awake even though we are not.
So can you see the solution to this painful condition? Since unawareness of ourselves is the problem, then awareness is the answer. Self-observation is the key to this higher order of awareness; it is how you learn to become inwardly vigilant to your own thoughts and feelings, even as they pass through you. You may not be able to think your way out of a nagging problem, but you can see your way clear of it. This special kind of inner seeing is pure safety. When you can observe yourself in this new way, your higher nature naturally prevails over any troubling thoughts or feelings that want to drag you down into their lower world.
There is no greater power for self-change than self-observation because this new inner vision alone can provide you with true self-knowledge. Self-observation allows you to understand what you witness in yourself, instead of being washed away by your reaction to it. This new and higher interior "position" -- as the observer of what unfolds around and within you -- is at once a part of the proceedings and, at the same time, untouched by them. When we are awake this way, we always make the right choices because we are acting from a level of consciousness that has no past investment in any event or its possible outcome. This means that it is free to select what is intelligent.
Higher intelligence cannot be bound by the momentum of accumulated desires. The silent observer within us does not think; it sees. This is an important point, because to observe yourself means that you can't be self-absorbed. Higher awareness through self-observation increases your field of choices, because this elevated inner position places you high above the game and lets you see all the players. On the other hand, self-absorption is like being on the field. Not only can you not see all the players, but those that you can see are, more often than not, slamming into you, and turning you around and around until you don't know which way to run. That's the whole point: stop running and bumping, and start seeing.
As you persist each day with this important and practical task of adding more inner light to yourself -- of making it your aim to stay up in the grandstand and out of the brawls on the field -- you may find yourself becoming increasingly disturbed by some of the negativities you are seeing within yourself down on the field. This is a good indication that you are making real progress. You must apply the principles you have learned to this new kind of disturbance. This uproar you are experiencing is the lower nature trying its best to get you into the free-for-all down on the field. Stay in the stands, in your observation post. Don't be concerned with anything you may see. Remember, light need never fear any shadow, and anything you may discover within you that is frightening comes from the shadow world. Your only task is to bring it into the light of your new understanding and let it handle the rest.
