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In this short video clip, Guy talks about two words that we can use in our relationships with others for the purpose of exposing the part of us that wants to gain a personal advantage at the expense of what is true.
What do we have to do to change the balance sheet of our lives so that for every measure of impatience and intolerance there may be at least an equivalent sum of compassion and consideration? With few exceptions, the usual focus of our attention and interactions with others is centered on our self and the fulfillment of its desires. The mindset of this lower consciousness...
When in a fight of any kind, over anything, we look over at the other person and "see" - almost magically - exactly what's wrong with him or her in that moment. So confident are we in our conclusion as to the nature of their problem - that the following has almost no chance to dawn on us: We can't see that person is looking at us in this exact same kind of "light"... that is not a light at all...
We all know what it's like to find ourselves unhappy and in conflict with someone who just isn't giving us what we want or need from him or her. Whenever this happens, we usually find fault with these people, judge them as being inadequate, and then blame them for the negativity we now feel toward them. But how many of us are awake enough to offer these same people..."
If our wish is to discover a new and higher kind of love - the only one that can empower us to transcend our differences with our partner - then we must begin to see our old excuses for finding fault with him or her as...faulty!
All of our relationships exist for a single beautiful purpose that expresses itself in two different ways: 1) everyone and everything is in our life to help us grow; and 2) everyone and everything is also there in our life to help us see everything in us that now stands in the way of our realizing this same higher possibility.
The real underlying limitation in our relationships is rooted in how we look at and think about others who are in our life.
To see the truth of the above is to understand how important it is for us to be as fully mindful as possible in the midst of a disagreement with our partner.
Our relationships, but especially with those we love, are a kind of "magic mirror." Our partner helps bring us into an awareness of qualities and characters that otherwise we'd never see as dwelling within us.
In this excerpt from an online Q&A with Guy, he converses with an attendee about how we can always choose to start over with any difficult relationship.
Guy explains the interior meaning of the expression "familiarity breeds contempt," which has to do with a nature that only knows itself by revisiting the past. The more that it dwells on the past, the more dissatisfaction grows, and the less able we are to keep from falling into a pit.
Guy Finley explains that the part of us that tries to feel better about itself -- by seeking approval from other people -- is itself the source of the disturbance that we feel. Awareness of this fact allows for a natural separation and release from this lower nature within us that looks outside of itself for consolation.