Have you ever said something to someone not knowing until much later that it hurt that person? Why didn't you know that you hurt that person in the moment that you said what you did?
You have within you the possibility of being aware of the need of another. In that moment of interaction with another human being, you were given -- as a gift -- the capacity to resonate the state of the person that you are in relationship with. It is a great gift that is rejected by the unconscious resistance within you.
The resonation of another person's state cannot take place without a certain level of resistance. This level of resistance is a natural spiritual force and ally. Nothing resonates that doesn't first resist what has impressed itself upon it. The resonance produced by natural resistance is a revelation. The resonance you feel reveals to you that which you did not formerly know existed in you. And you discover that it is this newly discovered aspect of your character that actually produced the behavior you see in the other person.
The resistance and the resonance are working as a perfect reflection for you if you do not reject the reflection. You can begin to use these reflections as a point of realization. Then change takes place, and the proper relationship between individuals can occur in which everyone is helping one another to discover the possibilities of an awakened life.