Listening to negative states tell you who, or what, is to blame for the pain you are feeling, is like letting a thief that you've found breaking into your house convince you that he is the police come there just in time to help you catch the crook!...

Classroom Talk: 4/30/2004 - Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot!

Classroom Talk: 4/30/2004 - Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot!

Each time we feel an emotional pain, we should use that as a signal that we've made a mistake, that we've crashed and now need to find and try another new way. The problem for most of us is that we rarely allow ourselves to learn in this way. We have hundreds of experiences each day in which our expectations crash into reality. Whenever this happens, we have a close encounter of the truthful...

Topics covered: fear, compromise, attachment, identification, resist, resent, blame, stillness, crisis, revelation...

Blame does NOT work. Any solution based in blame only postpones the moment when we'll blame again. There is nothing to blame for how we feel; there's only what we’ve yet to realize about our present level of consciousness. Seeing this (as true) places responsibility for our experience where it belongs: within us.

Topics covered: If the world was capable of providing you with genuine fulfillment, then it would have done so a long time ago; The explanation of a spiritual truth is not intended to become a soothing affirmation. The explanation is intended to lead to interior exploration and real participation in your own life; Blame is you not helping me to be what I think I need to be...

Topics covered: The hope of this world rests in innocence. No innocence, no goodness. No goodness, nothing good, and when there's nothing good there's only that which pretends to be good; It is inevitable that there will be suffering each time you try to hide from the truth of yourself; A real man or woman never blames anything or anyone else for his or her experience of life.

Part I: The pain we feel over being betrayed is not the fault of the one who has fractured our trust. Such anguish belongs to, and is created by, those darkly combustible parts of us into which we so readily fall and become inflamed whenever certain self-supports are unexpectedly pulled out from beneath us. Part II: Any "I" that hates relates not to the person it holds responsible for this r...

Classroom Talk: 5/26/2024 - Forgiveness is not the blind acceptance of what is dark, sinful, or just plain evil; real (forgiveness) begins with seeing the need  to transcend our own negative reaction to whatever we summarily find as wanting in someone else. After all, whose limitation is it when the best we know how to do (with those who have hurt us) is to hate -- or otherwise resent them... and go on blaming them for the pain they've revealed still lives in us?

It is the abiding nature of Love to do, as it is bid; so if what you love turns around and bites you don’t blame Love; blame the bidder.

Whatever justifies the unconscious suffering inherent in anger, blame, or bitterness is, itself, a part of -- in league with - these same negative states. And that's what we have to see if we ever want to be free of whatever it is (within us) that has "good reasons" for tearing itself apart.