I am glad for your experience with these ideas. But one thing does occur to me that I wish to share with you. The part of you that loves what is true cannot, actually will not, develop itself; in all honesty, it is and lives in a kind of unseen competition with the parts of us that our content to just make it through the troubles that seem to appear out of nowhere.
But increased self-study would show you that these troubles -- the conflict we have and experience with others, the world, and even within ourselves -- do not come at us as it seems. Our unhappiness is actually an upwelling, an aspect of the very same level of consciousness that blames its pain -- as it always does -- on unwanted conditions. This level of our self is the condition we don't want, and the only one that is the source of our suffering.
All of this is to say that we mustn't "wait" for change to take place in our consciousness, but consistently work to place ourselves in the "place" where we can be nourished by the kind of new self-knowledge we need to be "made new." Let me encourage you to persist with your wish to be free, and even more so... to be doing the daily inner work of helping to ensure that such a grace may be yours.
