The real thing that's unwanted in any moment is not the event we blame for our pain. The actual source of (our) suffering is in having identified with a negative reaction, and then mechanically resisting this unconscious state now rooted in the darkness of our mind. In other words: resistance is the source of (our) pain, and not the event we blame for it. Once we see our complicity in the creation of these troubled thoughts and feelings... it's not that they go away, but rather that in dropping our identification with them, it is we who are now empowered to depart from their dark world.