Secrets for Harmonious Human Relationships
  • Posted: Thursday, June 12, 2003
  • 6912 words
Secrets for Harmonious Human Relationships
Secrets for Harmonious Human Relationships

GF: Welcome and good evening. Our chat will begin once I post these opening remarks on what each of us can do -- on a daily basis -- to develop more harmonious human relationships.

Deep spiritual work reveals the truth that hellish things on earth manifest as they do because their dark cause dwells hidden somewhere in us. Tonight we look into this interior abyss and shine into its unseen corners a beautiful light of understanding. We will illuminate the center of the earth where dark forces are always celebrating some victory over unconscious human beings.

Imagine the chief devil calling together every possible evil entity that is in range of his magnetic voice and saying, "How can we interfere up there? What can we do to further deceive human beings? We must keep them in the dark so they can't see the Light that wants to rescue them. I want something so evil, so sinister, that no one will know what happened. Who's got it?"

The flames of all the little imps dim a little bit because they're afraid; but two days later, they all come back with a few ideas, although nothing spectacular. Then one tiny imp hops on the shoulder of the devil and whispers something in his ear. Great flames shoot out of the devil and sear the little imp who cries out "Thank you!" Then the devil exclaims, "Ah! I have the plan in hand!"

He looks around at all of his lieutenants, each of whom is assigned to certain individuals on earth, and gleefully instructs them: "I want you to go up and spread the idea of "tolerance." Go tell the stupid human beings up there that they should start teaching the idea that the tolerance of others is the same as the love of them. Oh yes! This is my best deception yet! It's a real killer!"

We have had sown into our minds a certain social contrivance, a convenient mechanical reaction called "tolerating" people who do not meet our approval. We "tolerate" those who don't please us or who rub us the wrong way. And we believe that our ability to tolerate another individual is the same as learning to live in harmony with him or her. Nothing could be farther from the truth!

It is through just such a deception that human beings have almost lost the possibility of being able to see how true Love is being choked out of us and off this planet. As surely as there are objects that choke the throat, there is that which chokes the soul. Now let's examine this idea and learn what it will take to remove this unnatural obstruction.

We must begin by recognizing the following truth: All forms of tolerance have their root in one form or another of resistance, a fact that should make the next truth obvious to us: We cannot resist something, be negative towards it, and be in a loving relationship with it at the same time.

Here's what this means practically speaking: When we unconsciously think "I will 'tolerate' this person by putting up with his dark manifestation, but only because I don't want anyone to see just how negative he makes me" -- then what has happened to us? We come to believe that we are "loving" because we repress our wish to lash out at whoever disturbs us.

Government and social institutions heavily promote this idea of "tolerance" to maintain the illusion of a progressive, evolving society; but to love one another has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with harboring resistance while calling it acceptance. Resistance isolates, separates, and chokes. Love embraces, welcomes, and breathes freely. But there is more yet to see here, if we will.

The whole notion of this order of tolerance is rooted in the idea of superiority, as only a superior person tolerates an inferior human being. When we are with someone, and we must "tolerate" him or her, we are in a state of secret self-love that keeps itself in place by having that which it quietly denigrates. But this unconscious state of self is only half the limitation.

Unconscious self-superiority keeps itself in place through a process of resisting what it imagines it isn't like, but by the fact of the negative reaction proves its unseen likeness. Shakespeare said, "Methinks thou dost protest too much," because he was pointing out that what we most strongly deny in another is what we unconsciously recognize in ourselves.

The first step in harmonious relationships is simple: We need only realize the spiritual truth that we cannot meet someone whom we are not like in some way, even if we don't actively express what we don't like seeing in him or her.

The deception is that we're sure we're unlike everyone except for those who match the images we have of ourselves. And so it goes that we live from -- see our lives through the eyes of -- a kind of "self" that is in a perpetual state of resisting anyone seen as being "not like me." But Love cannot grow where resistance rules.

We're not created to resist anything; we are created to grow through everything. Resistance to life kills the process of spiritual development. When we resist what life would show us about ourselves, we effectively close the door on the Light that wants to help transform us by showing us the things we don't know we harbor in our soul.

Before we close our chat tonight I will give you a very special exercise. Just as we can be taught the Heimlich maneuver -- a swift action that can be taken to dislodge what is choking the body -- we can learn a spiritual maneuver that we may call upon every day, as often as it is necessary, to help us dislodge something that is presently choking our soul.

What do you feel like discussing? What struggles can we shed light upon that will help you grow and go higher? If you will keep your questions real, personal, and to the point -- resisting the temptation to be speculative or to otherwise ask merely curious questions -- then our time together will be extra profitable. So, let's get started. What is on your mind tonight?

Ruth: How do we actually stop our resisting? How do we know that we aren't pretending that we have… so that the resistance is actually still being perpetuated?

GF: You cannot stop your own resistance to whatever it may be, be it a thought or a condition, for the very act of wanting to bring that thought or condition to an end is a state of conflict-born resistance. It is the light of awareness, our willingness to watch ourselves and not push away the thoughts and feelings that pound on us, that brings about the change in one's consciousness. No opposite can overcome itself. Only the Light can reconcile these essential twins.

Langston: A few moments ago, I met someone. Something was not right about him, as it is with everyone I meet. I can hear all sorts of things telling me to hate that person or find some reason to think negatively towards him. I try to turn my attention inward but I cannot see where I am like that person. I do feel the pain and shaking, though. Can you please provide instruction?

GF: Are you familiar with the East Indian instrument called a Sitar? It has nine sympathetic strings that resonate with whatever dominant tones are being played by the instrument. They resonate in "sympathy" with the vibration that sets them in motion. So is it true when it comes to human beings who set us "vibrating." We wouldn't "sing" the "notes" we do around them if those "strings" weren't within us.

Ruth: One of my greatest challenges is stopping judgment -- both of myself and others. When you indicated we don't meet anyone unlike ourselves, are you saying factually that we all have faults, and that we need to recognize and accept that in ourselves and others and that may help stop "judgment"?

GF: To be a human being, as we are presently constituted, is to be something to an earth that is parched and cracked. By this metaphor I mean to imply that our present level of consciousness is so divided that it is literally the "ground" of faults. Spiritual truths, the essence of awareness of our condition, is a kind of water that mends and unifies this ground by its own nature. Every human being has degrees of the faults that all other human beings either exhibit or have found ways to mask. This is why we should "love our enemies." What we see in them reveals us to ourselves as we are, not as we dream ourselves to be.

Beatflux: Why do I feel the need to prove others wrong?

GF: There are a number of answers to your question, but all have the same essential root. There is a very distinct and equally dark sense of self that is born in any moment where we judge another. The allure of this judgment that we make is hidden in the fact that we couldn't point out how "wrong" someone is without having first consulted our own unconscious righteousness. And there's more still. Another aspect of this same dynamic is that we live with a very self-compromising belief that we are beyond reproach, especially from someone seen as being less than ourselves. This horrible condition of our divided consciousness not only keeps us a victim of our own egotistic ignorance, but effectively locks us within the cage of that same consciousness by denying the action of any corrective moment. See all of this and ponder it. The punishment of proving others wrong will end.

Beatflux: Could you please tell me what righteousness is?

GF: There is a righteousness that is born out of one's spirit being in true relationship with life wherein life itself sees and governs all around it. Then there is righteousness (the way I used it earlier) that refers to judging others from a sense of superiority born out of being unconsciously separated from life.

Ruth: You mentioned life seeing and governing all that it observes. Is life or "the life force" another name for God?

GF: You can use a word such as God or the Living Light as it pleases you. The name is of little or no consequence; our awareness of its reality is everything.

Jilly: I am beginning to see these dark forces inside us. I feel pain and I try to the best of my ability to watch the pain also. I wonder if this is "the valley of the shadow of death"? And will the pain I feel continue to try to trick me into going back?

GF: Just as with the classic idea of the "dark night of the soul," so is the "valley of the shadow of death" a metaphor of an interior event that takes place many times for the developing aspirant. Each time we see what has compromised us, some darkness in us, that moment of fear or corresponding hopelessness is not caused by the darkness itself that we have glimpsed. This moment of feeling that we are in a dark or fearful world is a reactive projection of a part of ourselves that does not want us to proceed with the process of discovery in that moment. In essence, we feel lost because our present nature has seen, perhaps for the first time, that it is lost. It keeps a hold of itself by lamenting itself, but we must let go of this same self, and proceed along and within the Light that has revealed it. Keep going.

cd: In Seeker's Guide to Self-Freedom, you wrote regarding past wreckage and healing: "Do this special kind of inner work and the healing you want will follow, which includes the healings necessary with, or in, others. This is a spiritual law." I like the idea of healing others as well as myself, Could you elaborate on your thoughts regarding spiritual law?

GF: There are certain "Invisible Eternals." By this I mean that the universe is governed by timeless principles whose laws not only support the world that we live in, but supply it at the same time with the continual and perfect equilibrium that we all live with and within. This "Balance" goes unseen, but recognized in popular ideas such as, "We reap what we sow," and "What goes around comes around." These principles point to the presence of perfect math: 2 + 2 is always 4. So is it true when it comes to our relationships with others. When Christ taught to "Love thy neighbor as thyself," he was stating this law that has to do with spiritual healing that you've asked about. When we act with kindness or compassion towards someone who has hurt us or betrayed us, as difficult as this may be to do, we are the first to receive the wholeness of our how healing act. This is always the truth. Every moment, each of us is giving out what we receive.

Jilly: I don't trust any of the answers that I give myself. It is so noisy and there is so much confusion going on in my mind. Do I just stay there and watch it?

GF: Yes. There is no need to "trust" or "not trust" one's own answers, providing that one will remain watchful and willing to see what goes on in the midst of all that mental noise. The True answers always appear to us from out of a kind of interior silence that may or may not provide us with a particular direction, but that always proves to us our True Nature was never in jeopardy to begin with.

mobilman: Could you explain about how revolving I's work and possibly some ways one might deal with them?

GF: One example of these "revolving I's" that you speak of, I write about in The Intimate Enemy. If you haven't read it, get it. I describe what I call a "TPIC" -- which stands for the "temporary person in charge". This TPIC appears in any given moment where another "I" in us -- that we'll call the temporary person in captivity -- suddenly finds itself incapable of dealing with an event it meets. In an instant, and all without seeing it, our identity moves from one who is lost, to one who now knows exactly what to do to get out of that situation. Here is a perfect example of where we don't see how one "I" in us instantly moves into a new identity that is the opposite of the one that preceded it. To see this switch of selves in operation is to cancel the suffering it perpetuates.

Jilly: Do we have thousands of TPIC's inside us? Is each TPIC unaware there are many calling itself one?

GF: TPIC's are like a tree with bigger branches that lead into smaller and smaller ones, but we need not concern ourselves with their "numbers" as the solution to the suffering they cause is always the same: the light of awareness coupled with conscious inner work. And yes, all are unaware (of each other).

likestolearn: I would really like to relocate for spiritual growth purposes but I have never even traveled (or taken a vacation for that matter). Everyone that is near and dear to me is rather conservative and will always stay here, "home." Would making this move be beneficial for me or harmful to the real loved ones in my life? They play real parts in my growth and life.

GF: If you're asking me what my personal view is of whether or not one should dedicate his or her life to their spiritual development, regardless of the cost, the answer is an unequivocal "yes." Everything else in life is temporary besides that which we find within us that is Eternal.

Jilly: In reading Maurice Nicoll, he talks about buffers being inside us to protect us from the contradiction that we have. When we are ready to SEE, then will the buffers fall away?

GF: Buffers never fall away by themselves, anymore than an iceberg melts as long as it remains in the deep north. It is the light of awareness that effectively "melts" these obstructions that are creations of an unconscious nature that seeks to protect itself from imagined nightmares.

Deepa: Anything I say (even this) feels like a lie the moment I've uttered it. Why so?

GF: This isn't an unnatural feeling, and in some respects even has truth behind it. But don't get caught up in being identified with what becomes an imagined self. We must all continually work our way through whatever conflict presents itself before us for the purpose of keeping us its captive. When we speak, let us watch ourselves speak. If we ask questions, let us be aware of the motive behind them. This awareness is enough to turn lies into Truth.

Diojeneez: If you can use the darkness to end the darkness, then why do so many saints in all religions, many of whom were conscious men, "leave the world" to embrace the hermetic or monastic life? Are there benefits to this?

GF: As challenging as this may be, try to understand that to every teaching there is a time, and a time unto every teaching. For some there may be benefits in a "monastic" life, but by and large not those who seek that life for the purpose of escaping the world around them. We cannot escape anything we fear or want something from. This is why working with "the darkness" precedes the birth of the light within us.

likestolearn: I too feel like the hermetic life is the only way sometimes and that almost everyone is much more asleep, like in a coma. I am disappointed in the world and faced with the question of this type of lifestyle... any comment please?

GF: You are correct when you assert that this is a world populated by sleeping and self-punishing beings. But what one does with such a discovery -- how one answers the ache that comes with seeing such truths -- is as important as the discovery itself. We cannot grow as long as we resist anything that we see. Resistance and self-development are antithetical. Much of what we resist we do so because of what it stirs in us. If we will see what stirs in us, we can be free of that unwanted stirring.

Bil: Having worked so long, so many times it seems I've reached "somewhere" higher, and then wind up feeling it was all imaginary. In many ways, it seems like wasted effort... seeking some illusory "place"… the same old fears and negativities returning. Any insight to quell the futility of my being on a road to nowhere?

GF: I know this will sound paradoxical, but I assure you it is positive in its meaning. It is only when at last we realize there really is nowhere for us to reach, that we at last arrive where we have always wanted to be -- with ourselves, in ourselves, and all sustained by a Spirit that awaited our realization of its perfectly present presence.

Jilly: In this month's Tape of the Month, you talk about the four natural states of the mind. The third one, prayer, you talk about how if you don't pray, the mind will go into negative images, etc. Is this form of prayer the same as awareness?

GF: Awareness of oneself, conscious and active attention to the moment, is in itself a form of prayer. One reason being that when we are fully with ourselves, we are in the only position where it is possible to see the effect of what we are connected to in that same moment. It is consciousness of this connection (which is usually of the unconscious kind) that changes at once what we are in relationship with for having seen our actual condition.

likestolearn: In your last chatroom, a participant asked about a writing that stated something like "mere pills will not keep me alive, and metal discs [money] will not affect my life." This rings true but I cannot ignore the fact of common medicine I use on a regular basis just to get along. I need this or something to help my condition and allow me to live normally. Should I pursue natural or spiritual means to cure what ails me?

GF: There is an idea called the Golden Mean. It refers to the middle path, or what we will simply call a naturally balanced life. Find out for yourself what's the best path for you with regards to all possibilities, including what medicines you use. The best approach is always the one in which we are conscious participants.

Likestolearn: Despite growing and becoming happier almost daily, I can't seem to get past my money troubles (serious past debt, maintaining employment, etc.). I believe it is largely in part because of this sick world and its systems that are greed-based and loveless. Lack of monetary flexibility is stopping me from a lot. What am I doing wrong?

GF: Learning what it takes to become a responsible householder is a pre-requisite to one's continuing development. Keeping employment should be as simple as breathing, as should be the ability to supply oneself with a simple life through the dollars earned. Clear up your debts; this is mandatory. Persist.

cd: In a recent falling out with a relationship, I struggle with the difference in "understanding" and blaming myself for it all in trying to learn my piece of the "wrong." How do I learn from the disaster without blaming myself (which only causes more pain)? I want to see the truth about myself, and about him as well. I face his cruelty and rejection every day, which has taught me a lot, in between incredible pain. I can't make "things" right.

GF: I understand your concern and conflict here, so let me explain something that may help you with this situation and others that may appear in the future. We cannot learn where we have erred in any relationship by thinking back upon that relationship. The real correction comes with being conscious of ourselves in the moment of a self-compromising act. This shock of seeing ourselves changes ourselves instantly, whereas considering ourselves through memory only keeps this problem nature in place.

digger: What is a good answer to someone who says that my work to become more aware and to understand myself better sounds selfish?

GF: It's impossible to answer people such as those who would accuse us of being selfish for our very wish to transcend our own selfish nature.

Beatflux: Does peer pressure only exist when a person wants approval?

GF: Yes.

alc4: I have difficulty formulating questions to ask for spiritual guidance, while at the same time I remain confused about it all. Why this contradiction?

GF: It takes time for our "usual" mind to begin formulating ideas around what stimulates our mind yet to be realized. This is natural and should not be a stumbling block. Take one idea, one only, and develop it. Think through the question until what you wish to be clear about is truly clear to you. Such knowledge of problems is their solution.

dudeman: Is it possible to have a meaningful relationship with a person who is not on your level of this work? Will she always have difficulties due to the fact she is a woman and subject to extreme emotional ways of thinking? (No offense to the ladies.)

GF: No, not only is it possible for such a relationship to flourish, but you can help each other to the degree you are willing to discover each other's nature in action. Extreme emotions only upset a man who is unbalanced emotionally. His reaction is his proof of the need to work with what he has been gifted with in his partner.

digger: Is there a way to translate this work to society and to government? Or is this work always internal?

GF: Not only is this Work always and only internal, but it was never intended to be embraced by the masses.

Taiji: Why isn't it for the masses?

GF: Much in the same way as a chick needs the yolk-sack in order to develop and fulfill its destiny, so does what is True and Light-ful need what is false and dark for its revelation. The masses have what they treasure, and are incapable of wanting anything higher than their presently unenlightened mind. If you doubt this, ask yourself why Christ told his disciples to leave the "dead to bury the dead."

James1: We are to use "what is false and dark"? Am I understanding this correctly? Please elaborate.

GF: We are created to (be able to) turn "darkness into Light" by bringing these forms of incomplete life forces into conscious awareness. All negative states and their inherent forms are fodder for the mill of the self-working man or woman.

Diojeneez: What is the difference between humility and arrogance disguised as humility? It can be tricky (sometimes) distinguishing the two.

GF: What is the difference between a king snake and a coral snake? The answer is, one is a friend and eliminates harmful pests, the other is poisonous and always bites the hand that picks it up.

Langston: Can you give us something to remember in those times where darkness declares: "You don't need any more Truth classes, you understand everything needed to grow, so stop studying"? This declaration is quite subtle and/or overwhelming.

GF: Did you know that one of the most powerful of all spiritual exercises is the simple act of self-honesty? If someone walks up to you and tells you, "Langston, you are the essence of love," you would know in a moment that that person was a liar, a cheat, and a fraud because you know, or at least sense, some of the truth of your present nature. Meet darkness' voices with honesty and they will disappear.

Langston: This sure is a tricky, nagging condition. When I read your answer I heard a question ask: "Yeah, but when is it okay to stop going to Truth classes?"

GF: The man who loves the Truth never asks when does this Love reach its fruition; he knows there is always a greater Love to be known and embraced.

Daniel22: Why do people have a fear of success? Why do some people sabotage themselves when things start going well?

GF: The question shouldn't be, "Why do people have fear of success?" but rather why do people live with fear at all? Once you understand this, you will know the true meaning of success, and there will be no fear in it, regardless of its nature.

dudeman: Should we meditate on and ponder the idea of scale? Almost everything I can see seems to be in scale. When fathoming the size of outer space and it energetic forces, I get an almost cold, insignificant feeling, and feel like a mere dust particle that does not really matter. Please advise.

GF: The pondering of scale is essential in our fulfillment of our spiritual possibility. Pay no attention to whatever troubles you when you consider yourself in relationship to what you see within your mind. The very parts of us that seem to make us feel inconsequential are secretly enlarging us.

reynard: From reading your books I see the truth that organized religion isn't the answer... however since I've been raised a Jehovah's Witness and have strong conditioning in my background, I am still feeling the need to associate with a group of "Christians." What are your thoughts?

GF: The need for relationship along the True Path is an essential one. There is no rule or law that says one must not spend any time with any particular group, be they this or that orientation. Stay awake and watch how you feel around those you spend time around. Your awakening nature will change the company you value by itself, and lead you at the same time to those nearer the new truth stirring in your heart.

mick: I do not enjoy a job I've been at for some time now. My thoughts "think" I should be happy wherever I am (Mr. Howard said something to this end). Surely he didn't mean to stay at a job I feel is not for me? Maybe I'm clinging (wrongly) to what he said because I'm scared to leave. Your comment please.

GF: There are two words along the spiritual path that never lose their significance or power. They are -- "risk it!" Only action reveals the secret cause of confusion and inaction in such cases.

Diojeneez: Lao-tse says that when you align yourself with the Integral Way, you eliminate the "illusory boundaries between darkness and light." Are the boundaries between light and darkness illusory?

GF: Yes! In much the same way as night and day exist within one another.

Diojeneez: Isn't unconsciousness darkness and consciousness light? Are you saying there is no difference between them?

GF: In the "end" all is Light; but from "outside" this understanding "darkness" exists and is real for the purposes of revealing the Light and its life-transformative properties.

MikeS: Why do I feel like I'm in a hurry to find what is Eternal before I die?

GF: All anxiety is a lie. The catch is to recognize the difference between an essential need born of an interior wish for real relationship with the Divine versus the flash and fire of a desire whose sole purpose is to keep us in its service, and keeping IT eternal. Recognize this difference if you can. Simply drop the anxious self and what you seek is already there.

dudeman: Is there a way in which to help and teach children in this work without shielding them from the necessary life events they need to learn from? How can one raise kids with this trueness?

GF: We can do no different than we do with ourselves. And as we grow in spirit and in understanding, that very light not only protects us from what is dark and punishing, but it extends a certain kind of protection to all who are around us who depend upon us.

dudeman: So just being in our company is good for them and will help them automatically?

GF: IF you are working for and within the Good, what else can happen? But just because you may be attracted to the Light does not mean someone else will.

Daniel22: I am new to your books. Is there a "best" one to start with ?

GF: I would suggest that you choose between either of these two titles that attracts you the most: Design Your Destiny or The Intimate Enemy. Both are filled with helpful insights and encouraging truths.

James1: We seem to be constantly searching for inspiration in any form, but it mostly translates to us in feeling. Physically speaking, is there a sensation you can describe when we are in the Moment? Or is it something you'll know when you get there?

GF: Sensation exists because resistance produces it. When we are awake and aware in the moment, to that degree there is no resistance, which means that sensation as one knows it is not present. But just as there are higher emotions, so there exists a higher presence within oneself that need not know itself through or by sensation.

Diojeneez: Vernon Howard used a very interesting example in saying, "The speed of a man in a rowboat depends upon how deeply he dips his oars." What would constitute deeply dipping our oars while on the esoteric path?

GF: The degree to which we will risk what we mechanically assume is valuable in favor of what we sense is truthful and right for our development.

Mobilman: Not sure where I got this but is it right that we learn the right decision by suffering the wrong decision, or is there a such thing as a wrong decision?

GF: Action purifies knowledge, turning it into Wisdom.

Diojeneez: There is a story in the Catholic faith of a man named Saint Martin who one day gave up his own clothes to clothe a beggar. Everyone laughed at him. The same night, in his sleep (it is said) he had a vision of Jesus amid a crowd of angels saying, "This man gave me his robe!" Is this the esoteric meaning of "do unto the least of your brothers as we would unto Him"?

GF: Yes; it is a simple story to illustrate a complex idea most often misinterpreted as being about "giving to the poor," etc.

steveb: Are there tapes available of Guy's TV show?

GF: Contact Chris through our website and she will give you complete details.


GF: As discussed in the opening comments, to one degree or another we are conditioned to be "tolerant" of others. This kind of tolerance is rooted in an unconscious form of resistance; all such psychological resistance is a form of separation, and separation is isolation. Isolation corrupts the soul because it is shut off from the vital mix of elements created to transform its nature.

The human being is created to develop in the "likeness" of that marvelous Intelligence that made us. This Divine Intelligence didn't create anything that it fears or hates. It's a ridiculous thought to walk around and believe (as we all do because of the strong sense of self that it produces) that another person is our enemy simply because we feel enmity for him or her.

Now don't be mistaken, there are plenty of unpleasant people; our world is packed with them! But, given the negative effect of resenting others, and the fact that (for now) all we know to do towards those who disturb us is to resist them, could it be that when it comes to our human relationships we have been blinded to one of the main reasons for them? The answer is "yes."

Just as the wind moves through a tree and carries its pollen to the blossoms of another tree, our relationships are intended to be pollinations. They are intended to act as conditions for us that create between us the possibility of understanding that, in reality, there is no such thing as this separate self that lives only to create what it must then tolerate!

Now, for the special spiritual exercise I mentioned in my opening remarks -- the practice designed to develop harmonious human relationships. Remember that the point of this study and the new understanding it reveals is to help us get past the unconscious thinking that we can do something against ourselves and expect a positive outcome.

This idea of tolerating human beings can't possibly be the seed of something celestial. This part of us that has become a master of tolerating those whom we can't stand has come to be as strong and prevalent as it is because of how superior it makes us feel when we are around them. This unconscious self-righteousness is not an act of love, but a form of hatred; it is a weakness.

Here is the swift action we can take to dislodge the darkness that is choking our soul and its possibility of understanding the nature of true Love: This exercise is called the "You-I Maneuver." You can work with it every moment of the day, whether you're with people or you're sitting alone and thinking about someone.

To employ this maneuver effectively, you will need to be as sensitive in your interactions with other people as a spider web is to the slightest breeze. You can do this because your True Nature is created to be just this sensitive. Any energy that touches us sets off a resonance within us that we are created to be conscious of as it moves through us.

When we're around other people, and start to have a negative reaction toward them, what we don't catch is what occurs within us before it occurs to us that we must tolerate this person. In this moment an unregistered resistance impresses itself upon our soul, and from it takes shape a reaction that always begins with the word "you"-- as in "You are this," or "You are that."

There is this instant sense of separation between one's self and the person one is with; and from this is born an actual surge of pressure that surfaces inside of us that has identified the one outside of us as being the cause of our sense of conflict. But now we are beginning to know better than to blame another for the negative states revealed in us.

So in this same moment when we look at that person and feel this pejorative word "you" start to take shape, we are going to add the word "I" to it: Now it's "You-I." Inwardly you will be working to realize by this new expression something like this: "You . . . I have seen the exact same character in me."

For instance if an angry person comes to you, instead of tolerating his or her negative state, work with this maneuver like this: "You . . . I have seen the exact same anger in me."

This exercise is good for any negative manifestation you react to in another, so that you never allow the momentum of the negative "you" that is produced through intolerance to exist without understanding that the "you" that resists only resists seeing evidence of itself (through the life of another).

In that moment we disarm the lie of the "superior" self and steal from it its corrupting power to produce the illusion that we are different from the people we tolerate. And in the collapse of that opposite, Love and compassion are born. I can no longer treat you as someone to be "tolerated"; I realize the fact that you and I really are "neighbors" because we share a common pain.

Here is a summary of the exercise called the "You-I Maneuver." We need a new intention in all of our relationships, something like this: I will not suffer you; I will suffer us. I will not cast you out as being something inferior to myself; I will not do that because I can't recognize in you anything as being an inferior condition in you unless I have it in myself.

Our work, if we're willing, is to catch that surging separation called "you are different from me." And then, in that same moment, to apply our new understanding that cancels this unconscious act of resistance. Instead we embrace the realization that "you" and "I" are both exposed in this God-given moment that God meant for the purpose of transcending ourselves.

Remember that "tolerance" is a lie because it produces a "me" that is always apart from what I am tolerating. There cannot be Love where there is separation. Work at the "You-I Maneuver." Learn to watch this low-level self that is trying to destroy the possibility of Love awakening in us.

Risk leaving yourself open by refusing to identify with the parts of yourself that would have you believe that resisting Life can lead to being embraced by it. Do the inner work it takes to make this exercise personally meaningful and you will understand the greatest secret on earth: everyone on it has a gift just for you -- if you will only take it.

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