Here is an exercise to help you take the first step up and away from self-punishing feelings.
This exercise is called: Is This What I Really Want?
You do not have to accept any inner condition that compromises your happiness. Read over the next sentence several times before proceeding further. It is never right to feel wrong no matter how right you may think you are to be feeling that way. Feeling one way and thinking another is what it means to live in conflict. Self-conflict is really the only suffering there is; therefore, self-unity is the only real solution that can snap the spell of self-suffering.
Here is how it works. The next time you catch yourself starting to feel bad about anything, immediately stop everything you are doing for a moment and, as simply and as honestly as you can, ask yourself: "Is this what I really want?" Try to see the whole self-picture as it is unfolding. You will discover that your thoughts are convinced that you must proceed in their direction of worry or regret or fear but you are the one who is feeling bad. These self-betraying thoughts are like a friend who invites you out to an exciting evening at the fights, and then you find yourself in the ring as the main event! I repeat: you do not have to accept any condition that compromises your happiness.
You can and must inwardly say to any conflicting thoughts or feelings that, "you are not what I want!" The clearer this whole picture becomes to you -- that suffering is stupid and must never be justified -- the stronger your right self-assertion for self-unity will become. A whole life is a happy one. Choose to have a happy life by choosing what you really want.