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Student Q&A with Guy on "Transform Hurtful Arguments Into a Healing Space" (4/19/23)
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Student Q&A with Guy on "Transform Hurtful Arguments Into a Healing Space" (4/19/23)

  • Posted: Friday, April 21, 2023
  • Meeting: Wednesday, April 19, 2023

  • Duration: 14min 12sec

Topics Covered
  • There is no such thing as the winning side of an argument, because the reason we argue with others is that we are in distress.
  • The mind complains, "You are giving me an experience of myself that I don't like." And so we argue because that part of us is sure that we must change others in order to change our present experience. But our experience of life is nothing but the experience of ourselves.
  • The idea of "toleration" that the world promotes and celebrates is nothing but buried resentment.
  • If you have to figure out how to be a nice person, then at that moment there is something not so nice that is being covered up.
  • We can't change the moment and we can't change other people, but we can change our relationship with the experience of the moment.
  • There is an instantaneous interior contraction any time another person steps outside of the small bandwidth of what is considered acceptable.
  • The mind makes images. Every image it makes is made out of the content of itself.
  • The more pain there is, the more the pained consciousness takes it as proof that the person or event outside of itself is the cause of the pain.
  • The ABC's of the conditioned consciousness that resists what it perceives to be the cause of its painful experience: Anger. Blame. Coercion.
  • We judge anyone or anything that causes us to feel what we don't want to feel about ourselves.
  • The more negative you become, the less you see. And one thing you can't see is the futility of trying to change others.
  • The more that you get negative and blame another person, the more the other person feels justified in being negative towards you.
  • I can't be free as long as you remain the way I know you shouldn't be... which means that my sense of freedom depends upon changing you.
  • The real problem is not something that needs to be changed. The real problem is a consciousness that cannot see itself.
  • Give other people the space to see themselves by seeing yourself.
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Student Q&A with Guy on "Transform Hurtful Arguments Into a Healing Space" (4/19/23)

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