As for your experience... and the choices you're struggling with, let me answer your question in such a way that it might bring some light into the continuation of this conflict as you experience it.

Unconscious resistance renders us powerless. But not because it is a power into itself... rather because by (unconsciously) identifying with it, i.e. the negative states inherent in the conflict it generates, we are reduced to a level of consciousness that can't see anything other than what it doesn't want to experience.

The thing to understand here if we ever hope to be free of any unwanted circumstance in our life is that it's impossible to escape, let alone transcend any emotionally troubling situation we don't want! Why? Because by the very nature of attending to it, i.e., thinking about it, worrying over it, etc., we are rendered (unconsciously) complicit in its continuation.

Do what is in your power... and refuse to do what is not. It's not in your power to change your ex-husband or make him see the light... or even leave you alone. Even if you get a court order, it won't change the fact that your mind will still be drawn to dwell on that which you don't want, or wish hadn't happened.

On the other hand, what is in your power is to see the following truth that helps set us free: there is something in our present level of consciousness  that wants to dwell on what it resists, and that hides its strange proclivity to imprison itself by blaming others for its pain.