Persistence is a great power when it comes to setting and keeping our intentions to be watchful, and "witnessing" this lower nature in action; but, as Christ said, the Kingdom of Heaven can't be taken by force... and there's a great lesson in understanding that while we are hungry for grace, and the Kingdom from which it comes, we cannot change the parts of us that seek what they will for the sake of their own satisfaction. All of this is to say what can't be written or spoken. Be patient with yourself but do so without giving up any part of your wish to be free. Ask for help by agreeing to watch yourself when there's nothing in you that wants to see (itself). The rest is and must be done by the Divine. And it will prove its presence and power to you...but only as you allow it to reveal it has never left your side.