In this answer to a viewer's question, "letting go" author Guy Finley talks about how grief over the death of a loved one will complete itself and become something else if we will not resist the experience and allow it to be what it is.

It seems natural to fear moments we don't want, to avoid any knock at the door of some untimely event. But it's not these moments themselves that we are afraid of: what we fear is our reaction to them, so that we can't see that this experience we don't want... is actually the pain of a negative reaction as it unfolds within us.

Following are what may be called the The Three A's of the Peaceful Life. Welcome them as special work reminders to let God's will be as your own. If you will take these new intentions and inner attitudes with you into your day, then you will soon realize what it means to let go and know peace. Work to trust in the Goodness of God's moment, so that instead of trying to dig...

The next time that life comes knocking with what you "don't want," instead of allowing yourself to be dragged through the old round-around, make these three new choices, and watch how they dismiss the darkness knocking at your door: Your first choice (always!) is to come wide-awake to yourself. Remember: Your new aim is to not allow old, mechanical reactions..."