There are parts of us that would rather be punished by unkind people than have to spend one minute being alone by ourselves, because the only way these same parts in us can exist is if they have someone to resent or somehow fear. In this case, we remain in these ruinous relationships because the fear or emptiness we feel in even considering leaving them is felt to be too much to bear on our own.
Here is the Key to escaping this captivity: This fear that we experience does feel real, no doubt; but it belongs to an imagined self. Collecting and then consciously cultivating this new knowledge of ourselves points the way out if we will walk with its truth in our hand.
To begin, walk away from anyone who "helps" you to feel that it is necessary to hurt; leave anyone who causes you pain for "your own good." Here is the rule to remember: Never make peace outwardly -- or inwardly -- with anyone or any psychological state that punishes you. Say NO and go! A whole new and independent life awaits you.