Painful Memories

How to heal from grief after losing a loved one, and use our suffering for its intended purpose, is answered in this insightful video. When an aspirant asks Guy Finley how to heal from grief after losing his wife, Guy explains the difference between the natural pain of loss versus unconsciously revisiting the past which only ensures our continued suffering.

In this answer to a viewer's question, "Secret of Letting Go" author Guy Finley explains that the fear of being rejected by another person is caused by a mind that is reliving an old painful memory, tricking you into believing that what happened in the past is the only possibility.

Key Lesson: There are as many memory-paved roads promising a new life as there are old thoughts trying once again to escape the consequences of themselves. The tragedy is that every road built by memory eventually circles back to the same familiar destination, because the traveler has never changed.

It's impossible to die to the pain of our past... as long as we remain identified with an unconscious nature that can't seem to go through a day without reliving some dark memory it then summarily resists.

Classroom Talk: 4/17/2024 - Part 1: Fear of any weakness is a part of the weakness feared. Part 2: The more we try to forget our weaknesses, the stronger they become.

Classroom Talk: 5/3/2023 - There is no thought, no memory from the past that of itself can cause us pain; the only reason we suffer for their appearance is because we don't want to relive the unwanted experience they remind us of... not to mention how -- for our resistance to that same recollection -- we become its unwitting captive.

Classroom Talk: 12/7/2022 - It is impossible to teach the true nature of mindfulness, but it is possible to see the consequences of living from an unattended mind.

Classroom Talk: 10/26/2022 - Fear of the future is a negative memory: (it is) the ghost of some past painful experience disguised as "what may be."

Classroom Talk: 8/17/2022 - Unconscious identification with any pain from the past -- especially as it involves, or otherwise lends support to some negative perception of oneself -- is a slow-acting poison that, once ingested, soon darkens the soul and leads to its destruction.

Classroom Talk: 2/23/2022 - The past -- whatever its pain -- only exists in the present moment as a place of suffering due to an unconscious level of self that -- on its own -- first recalls that time and place of sorrow, and then resists the torment of its own conditioned memory.

Topics Covered: Find the Place in This World That's Made Just for You; I feel like a complete failure and wonder if my life serves any purpose; I'm struggling to understand why my life feels so un-lived; What can I do to lessen the pain from a traumatic childhood; How do I deal with the loss of all close family, friends, and community; I feel like I am on a hamster wheel and cannot get off...