Before we can learn how to step outside the pattern set into motion by some habitual negative reaction toward others, we need a better understanding of the underlying forces that create it. In other words, we must find a way to look at these same moments through a "new set of eyes."
When we're negative -- in a "power struggle" with someone over whatever is being contested -- we're reduced to being little more than a puppet. We're literally "strung out" -- momentarily animated -- by unseeing forces in us that can only do one thing: mechanically oppose whatever seems to oppose them.
We love to be shown qualities within us that are positive. But love often shows us what is un-loving within us, much as the light of the sun creates shadows. To understand this is to realize that even in the darkest moment of some unwanted revelation, we are never without love; it is always there, even if -- as clouds sometimes hide the sun...
Mistaking intruders for welcome guests in your inner home is not nearly as uncommon as you may think. Isn't it true that each of us knows firsthand this everyday experience? One minute you're walking along without a care in the world, and the next minute you feel as though you're carrying the entire world on your back! Your inner home, where you really live, has been temporarily...
Have you ever been drawn into a fight with a loved one where - by the time you got knee-deep into who's "right" and who's "wrong" -- maybe over the most trivial of matters -- it felt as if, somehow, your very life depended on the outcome of that fight We've all had moments like this, perhaps too many times; which is why it seems strange that we've yet to see the following...
What do we have to do to change the balance sheet of our lives so that for every measure of impatience and intolerance there may be at least an equivalent sum of compassion and consideration? With few exceptions, the usual focus of our attention and interactions with others is centered on our self and the fulfillment of its desires. The mindset of this lower consciousness...
When in a fight of any kind, over anything, we look over at the other person and "see" - almost magically - exactly what's wrong with him or her in that moment. So confident are we in our conclusion as to the nature of their problem - that the following has almost no chance to dawn on us: We can't see that person is looking at us in this exact same kind of "light"... that is not a light at all...
We all know what it's like to find ourselves unhappy and in conflict with someone who just isn't giving us what we want or need from him or her. Whenever this happens, we usually find fault with these people, judge them as being inadequate, and then blame them for the negativity we now feel toward them. But how many of us are awake enough to offer these same people..."
If our wish is to discover a new and higher kind of love - the only one that can empower us to transcend our differences with our partner - then we must begin to see our old excuses for finding fault with him or her as...faulty!
All of our relationships exist for a single beautiful purpose that expresses itself in two different ways: 1) everyone and everything is in our life to help us grow; and 2) everyone and everything is also there in our life to help us see everything in us that now stands in the way of our realizing this same higher possibility.
The real underlying limitation in our relationships is rooted in how we look at and think about others who are in our life.
To see the truth of the above is to understand how important it is for us to be as fully mindful as possible in the midst of a disagreement with our partner.