Clear This Obstacle and Climb to True Independence
Clear This Obstacle and Climb to True Independence
  • Posted: October 1, 2006
  • 730 words
Key Lesson

We can spend our time struggling, in vain, to make others into what we want them to be, or we can see the inherent flaw in thinking this way and -- rather than trying to change others to suit our needs -- see through the false idea that someone else is responsible for our fulfillment.


Real self-independence is the fruit of an awakened inner life. And just as fruit on a tree must develop into fullness following a certain order of natural events, so too is there a natural order of self-realizations that lead up to winning your own life and living it as you please.

Every step along the way to this higher independent life is both the challenge and the reward. The challenge is always in how dark and uncertain the next step appears to be; and the reward, after you take the step, is the sweet and relief-filled discovery that who you really are cannot fall! In this way, step by step, a man or a woman walks into the fullness of their own independent, true nature.

However, as with any climb to a loftier view, there are always those spots that are more difficult than others to negotiate. The more light we can shed on these psychological outcrops that obscure our vision, the smoother our upward journey will be. Remember, the Truth will never lead you to an impasse. If it ever seems that way, it is only because you are needlessly trying to take something along with you that can't be part of the Higher Life which awaits you just ahead. So let go. You will rise to the next step effortlessly.

One of the major obstacles in the climb to self-independence, where many students falter and so fail to take the next important step upward, is in their reluctance to see that the actual human condition is far worse off than they ever imagined. You must be different. As you are about to see, only your unwavering insight into the low life-level of society with its economic and religious leaders can bring into play the Higher Forces necessary to transform you into a truly independent person. So you must never hesitate to see through people, nor should you ever feel guilty for what your Higher Vision reveals to you about them. This guilty feeling, like you've done something bad by seeing badness in others, is a trick of the false self. It needs to keep you believing in others so that later on you can feel stressed and betrayed when they fail to live up to your expectations.

So it is both wise and profitable to collect facts about the weakness of human nature. Indeed, if our search for true independence is to have a happy ending, we must learn not only to welcome these temporarily shocking insights but we must gather ourselves up and ask to see more. The Truth will oblige. Here are three friendly facts to help us let go and grow more spiritually independent.

Fact 1: You can only depend on others for as long as it pays them to tolerate your dependence.

Fact 2: No matter how it may appear on the surface of human events, self-interest governs individuals.

Fact 3: Even the typical display of human kindness or benevolence comes not from that person's compassionate nature, but from his unconscious desire to enrich himself with the intoxicating feelings of being a good person. Forget to thank him or acknowledge his generosity and watch how quickly his goodness turns into repressed resentment or outward indignation.

These higher facts are not negative. What is negative is to hide from ourselves that we have been betrayed by others. The evidence is overwhelming.

Depending on others for a sense of independent psychological well-being is an accident waiting to happen. You do not have to live with this kind of fear for one more moment. If you will give yourself permission to see the whole truth about human nature and its affairs, the Truth will show you something about yourself that will lift you high above any of your present painful concerns. So don't be afraid to come to the temporarily disturbing but wonderful understanding that there is no one for you to count on -- because there isn't -- at least not where you have been looking. This gradual realization of your true and present position in life is actually a step up. It only feels like a step down. And the only reason it feels like this is because, unknown to yourself, you have been living with the self-limiting belief that one day someone would give you what you haven't been able to give to yourself -- true independence.

Excerpted From: The Secret of Letting Go, pages 173-176.

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