I sense that I am imprisoned by a deep need for others to like me, to approve of me. How can I free myself from this need? How can it be wrong to want or enjoy the approval and respect of my peers?...

Question: I don't know why sometimes I feel so much resentment toward the very people whose approval means the most to me. It just doesn't make sense. When these times come, not only am I unsure of why I am acting the way I am, but I don't even like myself. It doesn't add up! How can a person be in charge of his own life one minute, and in the next minute find it in someone else's hands? What'...

Part I: There is no human being on earth with the power to grant us what our heart of hearts longs for: the end of that empty feeling that as we are, we are simply not enough. And the struggle to resolve this unwanted feeling -- by selling our souls to win the approval of others -- is to run off a cliff while chasing the end of a rainbow! Part II: You can never win enough approval from this w...

Guy Finely explains that looking for the approval of others and trying to live up to their expectations are the seeds of a cultural trap. Learn to do what's right in spite of what the world says, and you will flower into a truly profitable human being.

There is a certain longing inherent in us to belong to something greater than ourselves. That longing that has a natural foundation is stolen very quickly, in fact it never has a chance to get off the ground. What happens? Remember grammar school? Remember how you began to notice that there were certain groups of people that maybe you wanted to belong to but they didn't want you to belong to t...

Classroom Talk: 8/21/2002 - Whatever is True, Right, and Real in any human being need no more seek approval for its own nature than does an eagle in full flight hope to hear the "caw-caw" of some crow below it, calling out to it about how confident it looks soaring alone through the wide, open sky!

Question: I know it's a mistake looking to someone else for a sense of myself, but how can I keep from giving myself away? Answer: What good is any feeling we may have about ourselves, if it only lasts as long as others agree to it? Seeking and receiving approval from others is like sitting down hungry to an imaginary meal. You're invited to eat all you want, but no matter how much im...

Guy Finley explains that the part of us that tries to feel better about itself -- by seeking approval from other people -- is itself the source of the disturbance that we feel. Awareness of this fact allows for a natural separation and release from this lower nature within us that looks outside of itself for consolation.

There is one heartache we know all too well. And each time it makes its unscheduled, unwelcome appearance it becomes that much clearer we've never really lived without the presence of this grief. It's that familiar to us. But, as quickly as this disturbance in our being can appear, it vanishes again, which leads us to believe that either we've overcome this feeling, or that it's passed. But we...

No Amount of Approval Can Make What Isn't Real... Real...