As sorry as it may seem, betrayal and defeat is not uncommon at all. You would be stunned, and hopefully one day you will be, at just how sad the human condition remains, unnecessarily so. In a world where all its people know is secret fear, it's no wonder everyone acts out their lives in secret conspiracies and twisted plots - all designed to bring about a security which is destroyed (from within) the moment they begin to conspire. But here's the real answer for those of us who want a Higher Life: Leave the dead to bury the dead. We have, as I know you're beginning to understand, more important work to be about.

We are only in wrong relationship with others to the degree that we are trying to take something from that relationship. Your wife is not the problem, although abusive people punish everyone, including themselves. As long as you find her to be the reason why you are experiencing life the way in which you've described, your situation will not, cannot, change.

There is nothing as important as your wish for a new, fully free life. Refuse to accept anything less and you can be certain that whatever questions may arise from your spiritual work, they will be answered by the same Spirit which has lead you up to that point. So, persist with your spiritual studies. You'll soon see, increasingly, that the whole world changes for you in direct proportion to your new realization about what this world is for: namely, your deliberate inner development. As you grow you'll realize something that cannot be understood until then: desert winds neither move nor disturb mountain pines.