We are born into a world, into a mind that convinces us of the ways we must go about pursuing power, so that when we find ourselves feeling negative -- worried, stressful, angry, frightened -- it's because we are in relationship with something inside of ourselves that has told us we will lose power if things don't go as we imagine they should. So we wind up serving our imagination and a body of desire that we have no essential awareness of at all, but whose presence in us pushes us to somehow obtain what it has told us we need to be safe and secure.
But all negative states are numbing forces because every last one of them is the bitter fruit of resisting life. When we resist life, we're cut off from life. When we're cut off from life, it's impossible for us to experience the very reason that we're in this life to begin with.
Why are we here? It can't be to win the race. It can't be to have money. It can't be to dress well. It can't be to become something in the eyes of people around us. And how can we say with certainty that it can't be that? Because what is true and fulfilling does not leave us empty, bitter, and fighting all the time to try to get more of what didn't complete us the first time around.
When a true need is answered, there is peace. But our needs, when they're answered, bring a need for more, not for peace. The contentment that is found when we get what we want is a contentment that fades as fast as the conditions that permitted us to obtain what we did. Change the conditions, and the contentment goes out the door. Then we're right back in the loop again, doing what? Just look at the ways we can pretend to be something we're not and actually believe in our own pretense while we're doing it.
So what must we do to begin to restore what is our God-given right as a human being? It is our right to discover ourselves in everything and everyone, in every moment that takes place. This is the unique capacity of a consciousness that holds within it all that has ever been created, and that can never be content with life until that consciousness begins to reflect and receive from life around it all that reminds and helps it remember and know itself as it is. This is what we're presently cut off from.
No one, including our parents, understood anything about negative states. They feared them, because negative states set off human beings who don't understand anything about negative states. Fearing anything is a recipe for disaster, because when we fear, we resist. When we resist, we bury. And when we bury, we remove the opportunity of any chance of ever understanding the condition that was never intended to be what it has become today. This isn't to say that we should express negative states, but that we should not be afraid of them.
Some people have chronic depression. They're afraid of their own depression. Why are people afraid of their own depression, their anger, their sadness? Because something inside of them is always telling them that certain states ought not be there, that "this is a bad thing." This isn't to say that negative states are good, but that negative states are part of a world that can be changed when the light is brought into them. Everything that happens within us is all part of a beautiful process in which anything that we are willing to bring into the light of ourselves will be changed by the light we bring it into.
The only thing that pulls on us, that compromises us in any given moment, is when certain states come up inside of us and we don't want anything to do with those states. We want to hide from ourselves the way we feel. And when we hide from ourselves the way we feel, the only thing that we're accomplishing is the assurance that these feelings will return, and there will be more of them! Because it's a given that when we first become afraid of something, and then we begin to resist our fears, our conditioning strengthens -- because we've come to believe that the way to answer our anger, the way to answer our fear, is to do the same thing we've always done before. Which is what? Look for ways to get around it, look for ways to explain it to ourselves that make it tolerable to us.
You have to discover for yourself what it's like to find yourself full of rage, worry, or fear. And instead of going along with the answers that you give yourself for why you feel and react the way you do -- instead of excuses, rationales, justifications for your state -- hiding the state from yourself through one of the many ways in which the mind creates different images by which to deflect the darkness - don't do it. Just simply see it.
When we stop explaining ourselves to ourselves, when we stop explaining ourselves to other people, we're going to meet those forces within us that all along have been driving us to divide ourselves -- not so that we can have a life, but so that the darkness that was in it could have its life at the cost of our own. Then, and this is the most beautiful part, if we don't explain ourselves to our self, then all that's left is our self and our awareness of it. That's all that's there. We aren't talking to ourselves anymore about what we see. There's just seeing. There's no one there apart from our own state. There's no one there looking at ourselves with disdain because we are this or we are not that.
Resentment, regret, disappointment, heartache... all negative states are created for the purpose within ourselves -- no matter what the condition is -- of being changed into something new and true. They're not meant to go on and on as they do, because as they go deeper and darker, their grip becomes more and more convincing, and we lose our ability to have even a moment of a rational mind. Why? Because we're hiding from ourselves the way we actually feel.
Don't hide anymore. There is something that wants to touch us, something beautiful that doesn't have fear in it. Its touch is what changes us. We cannot change ourselves. All the ways in which we excuse these dark parts are efforts on the part of the darkness to change itself, to deal with it, to get around it. Don't try to get around a negative state. We're meant to be in a state of communion, in a state of being conscious of all worlds at once. Why? So that the light that is the source of all of them can touch all of us, meaning touch all of that inside of us.
You have no idea how deep the sense of discouragement runs in us, this sense of not wanting to go through anything anymore -- all of the ways in which we meet life and we feel as though "it's too much." All of that needs to no longer be hidden. And the only way we're ever going to understand that there's something that wants to change that in us is for us to not hide it anymore. We can bring it into the light of our awareness, and let that awareness that exists from heaven all the way down to earth do what it is intending to do, which is to change it, to transform it.
Then we have found what it means to be empowered through a new relationship instead of trying to be a power unto ourselves because we're not happy with the relationship we have with ourselves. It changes the whole dynamic of the way we meet our self. Now we're not trying to be something. We're trying to bring our being into relationship with the only thing that can ever bring it peace.
