Tell us about yourself, Guy, and how you discovered your path as an author, spiritual teacher, and healer?

GF: I can't remember a time – even as a young boy – when there wasn't some kind of an ache in my heart. It was an unrequited longing born of two conditions that, at the time, seemed quite apart from one another. First, I wanted to understand why "adults" seemed fearful, easily set off, and so eager to lose themselves in endless social distractions. But, at the same time I wanted to know why the immeasurable love I felt for the ocean, or for grandmother, seemed to fill only half of me, while some other unknown half of me wanted more – than just to be with them. I wanted there to be no difference, no distance between us. Now I know this incomprehensible longing was an early indication of the direction my life would take in the years ahead: mine was to be a journey of love – to love – for the sake of a Love that had seeded itself into my heart before I knew anything of its existence.

In your latest book, Relationship Magic: Waking Up Together, you are focusing on relationships. Tell us some about this and what have you seen in your work that has helped others in their relationships?

The single greatest resource for those seeking self-realization is our relationships with one another, and especially with our partners in life – whether a significant other, siblings, parents, children, or coworkers. Everyone we meet – even strangers on the street – can serve as a very special kind of mirror in which we can see what we haven't yet realized lives within us. As a simple example, we all know the wonder of being with someone whose love for us stirs in us a corresponding feeling of love we can know in no other way – and by what they stir in us, they "show" us our own higher possibilities. In the same way, our relationships can help us realize; if we're willing; where the pain in our partner, or in anyone we know, is really the same as our own. But, as with love, they don't create this state within us – they reveal it as having always been there. Out of such revelations is a higher form of compassion born in us – and love has a chance to heal what had been concealed from all.

What is the reason many relationships sour over time and how can a couple reclaim the magic that brought them together?

The main reason many relationships fail, collapsing as they will into a heap of painful accusations, is due to a single false, but almost inescapable belief that appears at the outset of every love affair: without knowing it, we believe our partner is responsible for our happiness. And when they inevitably fail to live up to our impossible expectations any fault in the relationship is easily, and immediately blamed on them. The "magic" returns to our relationship as we realize this false belief is the real source of our conflict. As we assume rightful responsibility for our own negative reaction, respect replaces regret; misunderstandings fade out as new self-understanding moves in.

What would you like for those who read your new book to truly know about themselves?

We've all heard the expression, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears." Relationship is the classroom – the Love that brings any two or more of us together is the teacher, the lesson, and the realization learned. And then – it's back to school again!

As we should already know; assuming we sincerely aspire to a higher level of being; our present nature wants little to do with seeing its own limitations. Instead of being self-investigating (as we're created to be), interested in discovering the truth of ourselves, our first inclination is in the direction of being self-deceiving. So that rather than doing the self-transforming interior work of honest self-observation; whose Light alone has the power to first reveal, and then release us from all that wants to keep us from knowing the truth of ourselves; we make peace with these parts of us that live to bring us down into their dark world.

What we have to ask; that is, if we ever want to be truly, inwardly free is...how on earth did things get to be this way?

The truth is simple: We have come to believe, through a host of social and cultural mandates, that whatever we suspect is wrong with us; whatever character faults we suspect may be lurking in heart and mind; must not only be hidden from the world around us, but kept from ourselves as well. Any such unconscious conclusion is a prescription for sickness by sickness.

Here is the real medicine: We are made to be self-correcting. Each real correction made in us is the same as elevating ourselves above the unknown nature whose dark influence we had lived under. Like moving from a hot desert climate to a cool mountain retreat, each discovery of what darkens our path through life is the same as walking in the Light towards a Higher, happier Ground.

There are many parts in all of us that do not want us to know the following: The entire universe is working to help each of us become whole and "perfect in Heaven." The conditions that we run from, wherein we feel as though our own weaknesses will overcome us, are themselves unique creations of a Great Intelligence that wants us to learn of its Timeless Strength.

Yet, simply to state these truths, as bright and liberating as they are, is not enough. To be transformed by any Truth we must see the living truth of it. In this instance, as it concerns the recurring stress and sorrow that runs through our relationships like the veins of a leaf, we need some new ideas. Here is one such insight to help open our eyes to the healing that awaits us:

At present, what little awareness we have of what's wrong with us feels to us as though life is trying to punish us for what we are. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Our awareness of those aspects of ourselves, where we know we miss the mark, is not life condemning us. Rather, what's actually "punishing" us in these moments is our own limited understanding of the Goodness of Life...of how its Light appears only to reveal, and then heal whatever may be those punishing parts that are still hiding, unreconciled, in the dark of us. The real source of our pain in these moments is the negative effect of the knee-jerk resistance our lower nature feels any time one of its limitations is exposed.

Each time we catch a glimpse of a character shortfall in us, we do so by the grace of a Living Light. And it invites us, asks us; in the only form of a "dialogue" that we can share for now with this force for our perfection; to see ourselves in its light. So it is not negative to see the negative since it is the Perfectly Positive that makes this kind of seeing into ourselves possible.

All this compassionate Intelligence asks is that we accept its corrective Presence in us, and then to stand there, as conscious as we can be, within Its Light within ourselves. If we will receive what it reveals we are released from that former darkness. The Light transforms it and we are equally changed in that moment.

Making mistakes in life is one of its inevitabilities, as it's impossible to transcend any individual limitation without first agreeing to meet it. Such encounters are the path we must walk if our wish is to fulfill whatever may be our Divinely dispensed possibilities.

However, the more awake we can be, the more mindful of the whole of ourselves we are before we start moving toward any aim in life, the less likely we are to find ourselves feeling stressed, angry, or fearful over where we end up.

Use the following twenty-one unseen blessings of being mindful to help you realize just how nice it would be to see a pit before you fall into it!

1. If I were mindful, I would never be in a rush...even if I had to move quickly.

2. If I were mindful, I couldn't leave a mess behind me, let alone create one for someone else to clean up.

3. If I were mindful, I couldn't be tempted into making the same mistake repeatedly, let alone believe in the sense of regret that always follows.

4. If I were mindful, I wouldn't have to talk to myself for any reason, let alone explain or justify myself for whatever may have just happened.

5. If I were mindful, I could never say something cruel to anyone, anywhere, for any reason.

6. If I were mindful, I would never judge those around me, let alone myself.

7. If I were mindful, I would be consciously aware of anything I take into myself... whether some kind of food, my own thoughts and feelings, or the emanations of others.

8. If I were mindful, I would lose all fascination with talking about myself.

9. If I were mindful, I would know - without having to think about it - the general, if not the specific inner state of anyone around me.

10. If I were mindful, I could never be made to act impulsively.

11. If I were mindful, I would have no need, whatsoever, to put on any kind of pretense.

12. If I were mindful, I would be able to use the negative manifestation of others for a highly positive purpose.

13. If I were mindful, I would know the difference between wants and needs.

14. If I were mindful, I couldn't be brought to blame any other person for my pain.

15. If I were mindful, I would know the difference between useful and useless conversations.

16. If I were mindful, I would never embrace, let alone be convinced to hang on to a fear or worry.

17. If I were mindful, I could listen to others without having to inject something about myself.

18. If I were mindful, neither the imagined joy, nor the sorrow of some tomorrow would hold any attraction for me.

19. If I were mindful, I wouldn't misplace things, let alone my sense of self.

20. If I were mindful, there would be no interest in - or need for - psychologically defending myself.

21. If I were mindful, I would enjoy an effortless sense of gratitude and reverence for life.

So the question is: Given these 21 blessings of being mindful...why in the name of all that is Good, Holy, and Divine do we not place being mindful before all other pursuits? And shouldn't we dedicate our lives to being as perfectly mindful as it is possible for us to be?

Answer these two questions in the affirmative, act accordingly, and all unseen blessings will be yours. To ignore them is to turn your back on yourself and - with your inner eyes thus closed - to walk in ever-smaller circles, going nowhere but down.

Watch a cat. It sits silent, unmoving, until something catches its eye: a movement in the grass, a flutter in a bush... and the cat comes to life. Its predator instinct is awakened and -- by an act of nature that moves through every fiber of its feline being -- it leaps into the continuing circle of life... and death.

All movements, by their very nature, share three characteristics or qualities in common: first, they are always circular.

Second, at our present level of development, all movement is registered only by our senses.

Last, all movements exist as they do, and remain so only for as long as does the force of their initial cause.

The force of these movements tends to set other forces in movement; they are stirred into action by a corresponding force of attraction -- or resistance -- to that original movement. By proxy, these movements, and our sensory registration of all the sensations they produce, create corresponding movements within us. In this manner, identification with the movement takes place; one is first attracted to, and then gradually becomes dependent on this source of exterior stimulation for the familiar "fix" of feelings that they provide. These sensations fill one's life, holding emptiness at bay, and always -- by their momentum -- provide the hope of something more promising to come.

Accordingly, as a part of this movement, a form of dependency on the sensations it brings with it grows and creates -- in another iteration of the same movement -- a derivative sense of self that feels it must protect itself from anything that challenges the direction in which it is being moved; any counter movement is perceived as a threat to its very existence. And so begins its search for power to neutralize anyone or anything seen as its enemy; it seeks power to elevate itself above whatever may oppose it, so as to proceed -- unimpeded -- in the advancement of what it falsely believes to be its cause.

It makes no difference how any such movement defines itself, regardless of how seemingly noble; for regardless of how well-intended may be its inception, all human movements -- by reason of the very nature that brought them into existence -- end where they begin: at the start of another cycle... save for one added characteristic: dependency upon that movement has grown relative to the length of its existence; and where there is dependency upon anything -- whether ideological or personal -- therein breeds the fear of loss, and such fear is always, inescapably, the seed of mistrust and eventual conflict.

So, if one thing should be clear, it is this: whether it's the movement of a single individual -- or that of a hundred million people -- whether for personal prosperity or for global peace -- all are secret war machines.

Movements for a more unified and tolerant humanity only create further isolation and dissent. There is not one piece of evidence in our own violent past that passing time doesn't prove true: wherever two or more gather in the name of a cause, conflict is inevitable with those who can't see the wisdom of that pursuit. All of which brings us to this point:

The wise do not engage in any form of violence, regardless of how subtly such conduct and conflict may be justified. No movement, no compulsory compliance with even the highest of virtues, can create anything good; for all those caught up in that movement are either complicit in the conflict needed to carry it forward, or have become unwitting victims of an unseen attraction and dependency on the sense of feeling superior to those they oppose.

These truths are self-evident. But the fact of them does not dispel the need of this world to change. The question is... what is to be the nature of this revolution? In many ways, these truths themselves point to the way, the only way in which such a transformation of our planet may take place: we can call this way "a revolution of one."

The true revolution struggles not to change the conditions of this world, but rather to change the level of consciousness responsible for its compromised estate. Any other form of change is merely the continuity of the original conflicted nature at the root of all false and failed rebellions.

Any religious, philosophical, or governmental movement that must be enforced -- by carrot or by stick -- always produces its opposite.

Compassion cannot be enforced.

Legislated kindness breeds resentment-fueled anarchy; when any unstoppable force meets an unmovable object war erupts; such is the conflicted destiny of any unconscious desire not reconciled by love. But love is not a movement; its peace has no direction, and therefore nothing to put on a compass, let alone be charted. It is perfectly still, even though it allows everything that moves through it the direction of its choice. Out of this stillness -- that is the unseen gateway of love -- comes true, unqualified compassion: the act of first being able to mirror the suffering of another and then, by power of that same stillness, to step into that consciousness, and to share its burden.

This one action, and the personal sacrifice it calls for, has always been both the seed of true revolution, as well as its flowering. No one can "join" this movement because it has no beginning... And this is its unseen power and beauty: the true revolution doesn't begin in opposition to anything, and its success is not in a time to come. It is one's agreement to die -- moment to moment -- to any movement of self that sets itself against any other, including itself.

Great uncertainty surrounds the whole idea of self-realization. When it comes to the possibility of being in conscious relationship with what is Divine, what everyone wants to know is..."how?" From that point, it seems the confusion boils down to this single question:

Is there, or is there not a "plan" of some kind? Are there organized lessons of some order that one can follow all the way to everlasting freedom?

The answer is... No and Yes. And, in the end, the only person who succeeds in realizing the truth of Self is the one who will struggle to understand what only seems to be an irreconcilable contradiction.

St. Theophan the Recluse said that divine grace will not act within us if we don't make efforts to obtain it; and also that human efforts alone are incapable of producing anything spiritually stable or permanent within us. Therefore, the divine result, the fulfillment of our realization is, he says... "to be obtained by a combination of effort and grace." Here's what this means to those seeking the Kingdom within:

Effort -- any kind of "plan" -- without grace is useless. Grace -- unattended by effort, and its inherent humiliation -- produces illusion.

Just as there must be a marriage between the aspiring soul and the timeless Spirit that gives it life, so must there be a union between spiritual sweat, sacrifice, and the fruit of what that interior work reveals, accordingly.

To understand this requirement of self-realization is to recognize the absolute necessity of an authentic teacher and wisdom school. Without the new insights and access to the higher self-knowledge thus provided, the willing aspirant has no viable tools with which to work; nor does he or she receive the vital reminders -- and encouragements -- that are needed in order to renew the specialized work required to become self-realized.

Without the spirit that governs the dissemination and directed application of these specialized tools, they prove useless... Not unlike giving a book on calculus to a child who still plays with a ruler, imagining it as a seesaw. No one finds the true upper Way without true guidance. And yet... on the other hand, seemingly in direct opposition to all stated above, we have this beautiful fact of life:

Within the lowly acorn resides the "plan" for the great oak tree it is destined to become; in a manner of speaking, one could say that the oak tree is the acorn realized, assuming it's given the conditions it needs to succeed in fulfilling its plan. Which leads us to this highly encouraging fact as concerns life in all kingdoms, above and below: in every seed resides a living plan, placed within it at the same moment of its creation.

This means that hidden in the center of you is the seed of self-realization, the possibility of discovering that who you really are is... God's plan; love's plan, by whatever name you give it.

If you can remember the first time you fell in love, it's pretty much guaranteed that you didn't run around asking others, "Have you a plan for me? How do I make this person I love turn around and love me?"

Love itself was your guide, and the actions she prescribed moment-to-moment flowed into and through you; they were provided by a love that wanted nothing more from you than your willingness to be its instrument. The rest was literally done for you...

And there was never a question of how this love would turn out; no future fears clouded your original contentment; it was enough just to love and to be loved. That doesn't mean there weren't difficulties, but they were recognized as being a necessary part in the play of love perfecting itself.

Think of some great artist, any master you admire past or present; then consider, carefully, what it took for that individual to realize and then embody such an immense gift. Let me summarize the process of such perfection:

Love and sweat, sweat and love; sacrifice and insight, revelation and its requirements.

So, is there a plan for self-realization?

The answer is... Yes and No: and it all depends upon you.

Once something has outlived its usefulness in one area of life, its purpose for being in existence is no longer the same. The leaf that captures a stream of sunlight, and then transfers its energy to the tree, serves one purpose in the spring and summer, and another completely different one through the fall and winter. Its form first appears as an agent of conversion that collects sunlight, helping to feed the tree; and then, as it dies and falls to the earth, it is converted, itself becoming food for the tree.

Imagine for a moment that the leaves on a deciduous tree had the will to somehow hold onto their form, and refused to fall to the ground in their due time in order to nourish the tree that originally gave them life. Not only would the vibrant beauty of that tree soon fade but, in relatively no time at all, the tree itself would starve to death, and have no choice but to perish and pass away from its present form.

It's really quite clear: nothing created lives outside the laws of this grand cycle of reciprocity. Now, to this knowledge about the invisible interdependence of all that exists, let us add another fact:

All created forms are fractal, as is their purpose, use, and allotted time for existence. From massive suns to mustard seeds, each and all, in scale, run through the same cycle of life and death. This truth is readily observable in nature: eventually the tree itself has no choice but to go through the same process as do the leaves born from its branches. Life is the ceaseless transition of energy; nature is the instrument used to reflect and express this cosmic plan.

In one respect, the consciousness of all natural creatures -- the leaves, the trees, and the myriad beasts sheltering in their shade -- is inseparable from the form it takes, including whatever purpose that form serves as it passes through time.

These creations of nature have no self-awareness of such an order that allows them to be conscious of how their forms continue to transition from one purpose, from one use into yet another. They travel in and out of their various forms, oblivious to the stages of existence that they represent, as well as to the greater nature they are obligated to serve.

Yet, somewhere in the complex matrix of his essence, a human being harbors a hidden celestial seed; within each of us dwells a higher order of consciousness created with a possibility far greater than to merely appear and disappear as some form in the river of passing time.

More than just the innumerable temporary forms this consciousness may assume, this level of Self is formless, timeless; it is endowed with a gift bestowed upon no other creation:

It is capable of remaining present to itself, within itself, even as the temporary form it occupies passes through its designated purpose in nature's great plan. This unique period of passage in the evolution of a human being has a name: it is called, "The Dark Night of the Soul."

The dark night of the soul represents this time of being "in-between" worlds; it marks the always "in the dark" transition that takes place as the consciousness of the seeker of truth moves out of one order of existence, and into another (higher) one.

The dark night of the soul is that terrible, but required experience in the life of the one who aspires as he comes to realize that the purpose of his acquired self -- all he has desired and fought to become -- is as pointless as it is empty of anything real. The "dark glass" though which he sees isn't just an obscuring lens, it is the color of his present consciousness; so that his personality -- with all of its cultivated pride and passion -- is seen as worse than useless to him; it has become a stumbling block of pressing demands impossible to please.

There is no place left within him to rest... and even if there were, he knows he cannot remain there because now he is chased by his own dreams.

There remains only one thing left for him to do: he must surrender himself up to the very light that is showing him, seemingly without mercy, all that he can no longer be; he must somehow choose not only to die to all that he has been, but he must also agree to stand there and be the witness to his own sacrifice.

And yet, even in the midst of his darkness, in fact, because of it, there dawns a new understanding and the will to answer its clarion call: Only by agreeing to embody this timeless celestial law can he hope to enter into the Kingdom above from which it originates, and to claim his rightful place therein.

Don't be afraid.

There's little doubt in my mind that all around you--as within you--fearful thoughts and feelings are flying through the air like ashes falling from a forest fire.

Certainly the world has never before seen anything like what you and I have been witness to in these last few days. But whatever fear you may be feeling--born of some projected dark imagining--and fueled by the flames of the masses of sleeping human beings--is nothing compared to the suffering of the people in Japan. Remember them. And though you may not know it yet, whatever calm you're able to realize in the midst of such storms helps everyone, everywhere; of course, the converse is equally true: the degree to which you fear what the divided mind gives you to resist serves to inflame the situation for all involved.

Right now, misinformation--disinformation is rampant, and always has been where individuals could find ways to profit from the pain of others. Looking for reliable guidance in times of such disruption as we are all now facing is like asking a spider to lead you safely from its web. So what is one to do?

Don't be afraid. All forms of psychological fear are the direct result of disinformation, only in this case this misery-making misinformation is born of your mind listening to itself (or like minds in the same state of fear, fascinated with the projection of their own dark imaginings).

The only thing of which you can be certain at any point in your life is what you are able to see about yourself in that moment. Which means the only way in which any troublesome time should be met--and used properly--is as a kind of looking glass in which one can see oneself as one is.

Fear rises and rules an individual in direct proportion to his loss of trust in whatever he may have formerly been attached to and identified with, describe these possessions as you will--be they cultural, familial, religious, or economic in nature. What you are seeing in the world around us, and hopefully--more profitably--within yourself, is the indisputable evidence that your trust has been vested in the wrong "place."

Can you see the relationship between the extent of your fear--and what you have trusted in up until now?

It often feels to us in times of difficulty that life is presenting us with difficult questions, situations that require some diligent, if not desperate search and struggle to find the appropriate answer. But life is not asking questions in times of trial; rather it's revealing to us both the need to see ourselves anew, as well as what is within us--about ourselves--that needs to be seen as being true.

In whom do you trust? Yes, there may be practical steps that need to be taken to properly protect and provide for ourselves, given the potential problem before us; that said, only passing time will reveal what, if any, these steps may be. But there's never anything practical about panic; there is no positive attribute to psychological fear.

I do not write these notes to console you; my intention is not to comfort, but rather to create--if only for a moment--a condition in which you may remember yourself, and what's important.

When one is caught in a wave it seems as though there is nothing other than the turbulence within which one struggles. How many times do we have to see--experience, painfully--that the answer to being a captive of some wave is not to create yet another one, and ride it wherever it takes us? The answer is always to remember that waves pass, and that our trust must be in the ocean itself, not in what it manifests.

My last thoughts, for now, are as follows: my wish for you is that you do the work needed to awaken within you this understanding--the wisdom that is one and the same as unfailing trust: regardless of passing circumstances, nothing bad can happen to what is genuinely good in us.

Many students ask (and I paraphrase), "What must I do to win more of God's love, to be in greater contact with the Divine? How can I learn more about the celestial life, and begin to have more light in my life?"

In truth, there is an answer to this kind of question, but no matter how the answer is stated, the only ones who can really hear it are those who are tired of listening to themselves.

The answer is: "You must give yourself to what you say you want." And that's where the whole interior quest ends for most of the people who initiate the original question. The reason why nothing goes any farther (as a rule) is because the real question being asked is quite different from the way it's phrased. Here's the question without makeup:

"How can I get the Divine to give me all that I wish for...while I throw it a bone from time to time in-between the rest of my very important personal activities?"

Life is this moment; it is the presence that permits us to know we're alive -- that grants us awareness of all that this presence holds within it. Real life is perfect balance. And we each get from this life exactly what we give to it...no more, no less. This is a cardinal rule, although it's widely rejected by the masses that refuse to see where they're responsible for what life continues to give them.

Wanting love from God, without first giving God your love, is like wanting to be in better shape before you start a long-overdue exercise program. Make no mistake about this...and anyone who tells you differently lies for the sake of some kind of personal gain.

To go "up," you must give something up of yourself; not once, not ten times, but continually.

Spirit serves those who serve it; Love comes to those who walk away from selfish acts. Kindness and patience flower only in the hearts of those who die to the cruelty of demanding that life give them what they want when they want it.

Your life, right now, is as it is because of what you are giving yourself to right now...and this kind of giving of yourself is the same as what you treasure right now above all else. You can't go on feeling angry without giving yourself over to resentment's reasons for the fire in you. You can't go on feeling sad without standing in the ashes of some past event and rubbing the memory of it all over yourself. You can't go on feeling inadequate in the company of others without measuring yourself by a set of social standards that say one's worth is only what others agree it is...on and on and on.

So what then must one do? It's right before you: give up what you're giving yourself. Sacrifice it for something you love, even though there's no "guarantee" you'll get something back that's "better." Act upon the little bit of love in you that longs to grow and know the greater Love that gave it birth, and see what Love does in return. There are no maps in this uncharted country called the celestial life. But you're not on your own if you set sail.

One last thought: stop worrying about what you can't seem to do, and become aware of what you don't want to do -- of what something living within you clings to and won't give up -- even though you sense you must make that change. Even the smallest of lights such as this -- brought into the darkness of yourself -- starts a sequence of changes within that will reveal the next step in the direction of the Love you seek.

When you go outside on a beautiful day, do you step into the sunlight and try to enjoy the warmth, or isn't the enjoyment inherent in the experience? Similarly, when you see a falcon fly amongst the trees, land, shake its tail, and then survey its domain... or a great buck with its massive horns, broad chest, and strong neck... do you try to feel the nobility of these creatures? Or isn't that feeling just part of the whole moment that you yourself have become one with?

In the same way, real meditation is effortless. It is the fulfillment of relationship, not the attempt on our part to create one. Our being itself is meditating; it is naturally one with everything occurring in the moment. Our thoughts and feelings are all a natural part of the whole.

All of the preparatory work we do to develop our attention is to help us be in the moment where life is unfolding. By contrast, it is the propensity of our present mind to always be wandering around "out there," somewhere in thought. This tendency is so ingrained, it even prevails while we're meditating. Instead of just being in the moment, consciously experiencing whatever the moment brings, our yoyo mind is busy running back and forth -- looking for something within which it can come to a rest. Real meditation is the end of seeking, not a means to (an imagined) peace.

The day will come when you will understand that if you're just present to your own body during meditation, you need do nothing more. The catch is that you must first realize that your previous efforts have just interfered with the meditative process, and that you've accomplished nothing for all that you've done. You must see that all these efforts may produce the sensation of someone who is accomplishing something and achieving some ideal as it concerns meditating. But they do not produce the actual state of meditation that is necessary for the transformation of your being.

The energy we are given each moment, when it is experienced in its wholeness, is enough unto itself. It doesn't need anything outside of itself. True meditation can simply be seen as a moment in which it is enough to be what we are.

If you wish to experience the wholeness of a meditative moment, just work as best you can to gain your attention. When you can bring your attention home and keep it focused within yourself, it acts as a kind of "celestial collector." And while it does not actually "collect" anything, it can serve to reveal a whole new understanding of your relationship with the present moment. Awareness of this new relationship is the essence of true meditation.

The essential pain in our life is born out of our idea that we can do something toward the moment and take something from it that will complete us. What we fail to realize is that any action we take to extract something from the moment to complete ourselves actually separates us, not only from the moment that we have imagined will make us whole, but from being present to the beautiful, quiet energy that occupies the body naturally when our own desires no longer interfere.

When you are in relationship with your natural body, your natural mind, and your natural heart, you will see how unnatural it is for you to continue to try to give yourself something. You will see that everything you've always wanted is never not being given to you. And meditation is the enjoyment of the gift.

It isn't something of which most of us are aware, but we human beings are "marked" with a certain strange feature: and that is...we want to change.

Perhaps you're thinking: "What's so strange about that?" After all, who amongst us isn't familiar with this ever-present longing (of ours)? Granted, taken by itself, this desire doesn't seem so strange; that is, until we realize the obvious: we are always changing. In fact, not a single moment goes by where who -- and what -- we are remains the same.

Statistics vary, but in less than seven years there won't be a single cell left in any of our bodies that's the same cell there today. This means that any human being who "wants" to change is like a mountain river wanting to reach the valley floor. It's a done deal; that's what mountain rivers do, and "changing" should be our first nature. Yet...

Any true longing we have to change is born of our innate wish to transcend our present level of being: on the one hand to know, consciously -- unmistakably -- that we are fulfilling some unseen, but higher reason for our very existence; and, at the same time, as a pre-requisite to this invisible mandate, to rise above those prevalent and often quite dark parts of us that drag us down, and that soil or spoil our relationships with others. Few would argue these points. Yet, this longing to participate in the perfection of our being has been subverted and, perhaps more truly spoken, stolen from out of our hands.

In these times, where social appearance is more important than spiritual substance, what has become our longing to change is really the unconscious desire to control not just the shape of our bodies -- according to prevailing values -- but to dominate our environment as well, regardless of the cost. In case it's not clear, such "control" is the antithesis of change; it is in conflict with it. Cases abound if we take off our blinders to see them.

Consider for a moment the growing popularity of "anti-aging" products. In truth, all these salves, pills, shots, and drinks do is one thing: mask the fact that from the moment it's born one's body is doing what it has been created to do: flower and fade away, having passed on whatever perfection of understanding it may have gained for what it went through on its brief journey on this earth. But dying is part of changing, not the end of it, as most fear. And, regardless of retarding the inevitable, one's conflict with life's natural changes still rages on beneath the skin in one's heart and mind; covering a battlefield with plastic flowers doesn't change what's taking place there, or what lies just under its ravaged soil. Which brings me to the reason for this blog:

Something lurks within all spiritually sleeping beings that doesn't just serve to limit revelation -- to inhibit the real and meaningful changes it brings -- but that acts, decisively, to prohibit this kind of deep transformation. What is this agent of spiritual darkness? We will call it...the "anti-change factor."

Resistance to revelation is the anti-change factor; and since human beings tend to automatically resist anything unwanted -- whatever it may be that reveals their character and lives are nothing like what they've imagined them to be -- this means that all such revelations are rejected on the spot.

On the surface, meaning seen through the eyes of the self caught up in a negative reaction, resistance to an unwanted revelation about oneself makes "sense" -- as in when we "eject" an intruding pest from our house. But, as we're about to discover, resisting our negative states doesn't distance us from them, let alone remove them from our interior world; quite the contrary. Here are the three secret stages of psychological resistance, and why it is the "anti-change factor."

Resistance separates, isolates, and finally crystallizes whatever is being resisted.

Now, here's the key to changing our relationship with what's ruining our wish to change: resistance to some unwanted psychological state does not distance us from its suffering...it attaches us to it. This kind of attention doesn't just animate what it falls on; it actually helps manifest what would have no right to exist otherwise. So that the longer we attend to -- resist -- whatever makes us ache in this way, the more real it becomes.

Let me restate the above in summary form: psychological resistance fixes -- makes as one --the self and the negative state it resists. This means that the solution to our unwanted suffering is in seeing our complicity with it. For only then are we willing to die to the part of us that believes it can free itself by not wanting to be itself.