Agree to Put Yourself in Second Place
Agree to Put Yourself in Second Place
  • Posted: February 20, 2017
  • 325 words
Key Lesson

There are times when there's more to be gained from "losing" a fight, than there is in winning it. Show me the men and women who enter only into battles they're sure they can win, and I will show you a frightened lot who have all but forsaken the possibility of "winning" a place in Heaven.

Summary

With few exceptions, the usual focus of our attention and interactions with others is centered on our self and the fulfillment of its desires. "How do I feel about you?" "What do I want from him?" or "When will she realize that I know best?" In other words, the mindset of the false self, under most circumstances, is: "Me first." By forever placing its own considerations before considering any other, it remains the master of its own universe, even if all that revolves through it is its own imagined importance.

Through our willingness to work at placing our usual self in "second place," we agree not only to change the way we see our relationships, but we have also agreed to be changed by the truths our new relationships will inevitably show us about ourselves.

Your willingness to work your way through the six special practices of the following inner exercise -- to strive to employ these higher ideals in your relationships with others -- will reward you with the Real Life your heart longs for.

  • Let anyone who wants to psychologically defeat you have his victory, and do it without revealing that you chose to give him the last word.

  • In any moment of consequence, be as willing to see that you may be wrong as you are convinced that you are always right.

  • Look for ways to make moments work to the advantage of someone else besides yourself.

  • When gathered with friends or family, instead of competing for the spotlight, voluntarily help to shine it on someone whom you know its light will emotionally lift or otherwise encourage.

  • Even when you know that you are solidly in the right, rather than rub it in, sacrifice your righteousness.

  • Whatever it might be when your "moment in the sun" arises -- such as being acknowledged or applauded for a deed well done -- if you have the choice, give the best or better portion away.

Excerpted From: Seeker's Guide to Self-Freedom: Truths for Living, pages 160-161

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