Before we can hope to shatter the pattern of familiar conflicts in our relationships, we need a new level of understanding to take with us into those same moments.

Here are just ten small places in our lives where we are trying to do the impossible -- struggling to do what cannot (and need not) be done -- and where, because of our misunderstanding, we unknowingly hurt ourselves.

In this excerpt from an online Q&A with Guy, he converses with an attendee about how we can always choose to start over with any difficult relationship.

Behind every bitter disappointment lives the presence of a sweet light whose power can turn any unwanted event into a new kind of victory not yet imagined.

The reason perfect love casts out fear is because any unwanted condition willingly embraced loses its power over us.

Guy Finley explains that you can't change a situation you don't want without first changing the nature that got you into it in the first place. Unless that nature changes you'll fall back into the same patterns and attract the same people and unwanted events. Seeing the situation from a higher view reveals the lower level you've been acting from. Then real change can happen.

Guy Finley reveals that the "self" that grieves over an unwanted event is the same level of self that dragged you into the situation in the first place. We have the capacity to use the shock of that realization to wake up and let go of the pain.

Any wave of resentment, anxiety, or fear that comes to wash you away is nothing more than a kind of psychic residue left over from who you once were.

How many of us look out ahead of ourselves at some unwanted event that looms too large, and find ourselves feeling out of control... headed for what seems an unavoidable collision? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to reach down inside of ourselves, grab hold of the controls of our own consciousness, and pull ourselves up? To quietly watch that would-be mountain of a problem, whatever it is, jus...

There is nothing in the universe that can stop us from growing, except our habitual, mechanical nature.

I'm sure we can all agree that no intelligent, conscious person would ever intentionally hurt themselves. No one would choose to ache. Yet the fact remains that all of us do hurt ourselves every day with bursts of anger or fits of depression or anxiety. Even at the simplest level, there can be no doubt: fear and worry take an immeasurable toll on our health and well-being. So, then, knowing in...

When you begin to doubt everything you believe about your suffering, you will see that you never had to remain in the path of those destructive storms at all.