Negative States

Here is an exercise to help you take the first step up and away from self-punishing feelings. This exercise is called: Is This What I Really Want? You do not have to accept any inner condition that compromises your happiness. Read over the next sentence several times before proceeding further. It is never right to feel wrong no matter how right you may think you are to be feeling that wa...

It always seems that in the face of any crisis the best and the worst of humanity is revealed for all to see. On one hand there are thousands who suddenly become aware (perhaps for the first time) of the pain and loss others feel and, foregoing personal interest, dive into the challenging waters of self-sacrifice and other charitable works of selflessness. At the same time these crises -- esp...

Each day we hear a knock on our psychological door, and when we open it a pushy person enters and begins to bark out orders: "Worry about this." "Remember and regret that." "Work harder!" Is it little wonder we experience only the most fleeting feelings of love, kindness or relaxation? We are all the time being pushed along by something that calls itself an authority, and without ever questi...

At all times everything, everywhere, is unfolding as it must. Getting stressed and struggling to change the outcome of any past event is like arguing with an echo to make it see your point of view. In down-to-earth terms, to resent the person who cuts you off in traffic does nothing to change either that scary moment now passed, or the sleeping nature of...

Whenever someone hurts us with a pointed remark, what we see isn't whether or not there's truth in their words; all we "see" is our wish they hadn't said anything at all! In such moments we are absorbed by a familiar negative reaction whose one desire is that the unwanted event just go away. This resistance acts within and upon our consciousness as a "blinding" and binding force, so all we can...

Too frequently it seems our lives are under the power of things outside of us and beyond our ability to deal with: we feel like we are prisoners in one way or another of an unfair social system, impossible work conditions, an unforgiving past, or a failed relationship. Even trying to assemble a build-it-yourself bookshelf that doesn't know it "goes together with ease" can lock us away in the h...

One of the most difficult lessons we must face in our effort to win the war within ourselves has to do with the truth about our relationship with our own negative states: they fascinate us. That's right! But, why do we value them so? The answer will surprise you. We value negative states because of the strong sense of self we get from them. This may be very difficult for us to see, but a stro...

Within each of us, in our hearts and in our minds, there lives a special kind of light. In truth, it is everywhere. But, instead of seeing the beautiful stillness -- the source of that which reveals the movement of passing thoughts and feelings -- we grab onto each thought that passes through it. Why would we do this? We are close to the discovery of a great truth. It is not the real you, no...

In my job I must deal daily with several emotionally dark coworkers. What can I do to handle this situation better, besides getting another job? I know that it is difficult to be surrounded by toxic people; however, as difficult as this is to understand, your present work circumstance is perfect for your continuing development, if you understand how to use it. I say...

I'm sure we can all agree that no intelligent, conscious man or woman would ever intentionally hurt him- or herself. No one would choose to ache. Yet the fact remains that all of us do hurt ourselves every day with bursts of anger or fits of depression or anxiety. Even at the simplest level, there can be no doubt: fear and worry take an immeasurable toll on our health and well-being. So, then,...

One of the things that makes letting go seem so difficult is the way in which our spiritually asleep mind looks at life: it sees cause and effect as being separate operations. This means our usual action toward anything that troubles us is to struggle with letting go of that unwanted effect. The problem is our usual reaction blinds us to the fact that the actual cause of our unhappiness is not...

What about you? Are you sure you have to go down with that ship called an abusive relationship, substance abuse, or the self-pity that always attends these punishing states of self? Do you see yourself as someone addicted to something, and believe this sinking condition is the way it has to be? Does it feel as though there is no way out from under that barrage of negative thoughts and feelings...