There is so much that goes unexplained in human life. And that isn't to say that you and I don't have explanations, but over and over again our explanations prove to be lies. And the way we are able to justify this way of getting around a problem (or a person), and stand momentarily on some ground as if we've conquered the world, is that we believe we have understood the situation and risen above it... until we find out that the ground we are standing on has fallen out from beneath us, and we have to start looking for explanations again.
Time and again, we find ways to hide from ourselves the ways in which we know we aren't doing the right thing. We tell ourselves, "I knew I wasn't doing the right thing." But each time I had that moment where it was clear to me that I was making a mistake, something came along and convinced me that it would be okay to move along those lines because at a certain point, it would change. And when it changed, what was wrong would come right."
How is it possible that I could be convinced that I was doing the right thing for myself when I was doing the wrong thing? Here is a person -- drinking, drugging, abusing (whatever it is), and in the obvious grip of something that is compromising, killing them! Only what is evil wants to kill the human being it lives in -- a human being completely compromised and not knowing they are compromised. How is it possible that a human being can believe they're doing the right things for themselves spiritually when they're in fact doing the wrong thing? Don't you think that's fascinating?
Have you ever found out you were doing the wrong thing? Because eventually comes that oh-so-challenging, glorious day when we realize that we have been the epitome of arrogance -- that we have swallowed hook, line, and sinker every story our self has ever told us, and we've believed in its remedy, only to find ourselves in ruin again. That day is a herald of a sort. It is an invitation. It is a lesson. But those days are rare and unwanted because how many of us want to see that what we've told ourselves has been a lie? Nobody wants to. What we'll do is go to great lengths to prove to ourselves that what we told ourselves is the truth. Until comes the day when we can no longer believe that lie. And when we can no longer believe that lie, what has always been available as possibilities appear.
It isn't that the things that appear as new possibilities come out of the clear blue sky. It's that they have been obscured by the clouds of thoughts -- the cloud of certainty, of arrogance -- that has kept them from being perceived so that we could take a new action and feel the promise it holds. Because when we see something new and true, regardless of how dark and deep it may be in the moments when we see the truth of something, behind every truth is the promise that sent it.
And the day comes when you love the promise. The truth may hurt. The medicine is bitter sometimes, but behind that truth and that which revealed the condition that you didn't know you were in is this marvelous sense of starting your life over again -- but not from you! Not from the you that knows what to do because you fell down again, but the you that showed you why you fell down. Showed you this self, this surreptitious false nature that has completely claimed the human life. And each time that Light breaks, it shatters some of that dark crystal that has encompassed the heart and mind of the human being, and a little light gets inside. And with each fraction of light that penetrates the soul, that soul is renewed, and it begins the quest again to understand its place in this life.
You must find a way for yourself to get so tired of your own explanations (and the explanations of everyone else) that there you are, walking around with nothing that you can cling to or look to in order to explain to yourself what is. Meet life the way it is, because life is bringing you an opportunity to see yourself as you are and the way you are. That's what it's always bringing, and it's always a kind gift! And the reason it's always a gift is because everything that you see gives an opportunity to that part of you that can see.
If you're sincere in your wish to have a life in God, to be true to the light and let its brightness be your life itself, to hear the things that you have been the most afraid of -- which is seeing that not only have you been wrong, but you have actually forwarded the wrongness in the name of what something inside of you told you was right -- the light inside you will break. And each time that light breaks, each time it's so clear where you were mistaken, your mind, this self, this surreptitious character that sits in the center of you and that currently guides you is going to scream. It's going to want to get past this. It's going to forget it. Why? Because it doesn't want to go to work! But you can realize (which is the gift of God's Life to us) that there is no life there, but something that only wants what you can feed it so that it can continue its feeding at the cost of your soul.
You can make a new choice. I've given you some very powerful information for you to look at and re-examine your lives through. And if you will, I give you the promise of God's Life itself. Inside of you is a success that you can't imagine, and all you have to do is stop trying to succeed according to your own will. Then, you'll see there was failure in your will. And in God's will, it is success itself.
