Self-observation is the key to a higher order of awareness; it is how we learn to become inwardly vigilant to our own thoughts and feelings, even as they pass through us. When we can observe ourselves in this new way, our higher nature naturally prevails over any troubling thoughts or feelings that want to drag us down into their lower world.
Higher intelligence cannot be bound by the momentum of accumulated desires. The silent observer within us does not think; it sees. This is an important point, because to observe ourselves means that we can't be self-absorbed. Higher awareness through self-observation increases our field of choices, because this elevated inner position places you high above the game and lets you see all of the players. On the other hand, self-absorption is like being on the field. Not only can you not see all of the players, but those that you can see are more often than not slamming into you, turning you around and around until you don't know which way to run. That's the whole point: stop running and bumping, and start seeing.
As you persist each day with this important and practical task of adding more inner light to yourself -- of making it your aim to stay up in the grandstand and out of the brawls on the field -- you may find yourself becoming increasingly disturbed by some of the negativities you are seeing within yourself down on the field. This is a good indication that you are making real progress. You must apply the principles you have learned to this new kind of disturbance. This uproar you are experiencing is the false self trying its best to get you into the free-for-all down on the field. Stay in the stands, in your observation post. Don't be concerned with anything you may see. Remember, light need never fear any shadow, and anything you may discover within you that is frightening comes from the shadow world. Your only task is to bring it into the light of your new understanding, and let it handle the rest.